| Re: This Summers Ablaze by DeadtotheWorld |
zodiac 67.240.155.203 |
10-May-04/4:08 AM |
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"on a summers ablaze" doesn't make any sense. And this is not a villanelle. -No vote-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.140 |
10-May-04/5:36 AM |
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Check out -Lunge fish-, one of mine. similar motif. The ranker's not giving me an i/d for it. I feel so lost.
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| Re: Skating by Bobjim |
some deleted user 212.135.1.83 |
10-May-04/6:06 AM |
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Truely inspired for someone of his intellectual stature. He has nearly reached the end of the alphabet.
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| Re: Geese by large_geese |
Bobjim 212.135.1.84 |
10-May-04/6:07 AM |
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For a first attempt, it looks like one of mine, but no where near as rude.
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| Re: Skating by Bobjim |
large_geese 212.135.1.83 |
10-May-04/6:07 AM |
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| Re: Geese by large_geese |
some deleted user 212.135.1.53 |
10-May-04/6:08 AM |
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Apparently geese play a large part in your life. In California you may be able to marry one.
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| Re: Geese by large_geese |
large_geese 212.135.1.80 |
10-May-04/6:09 AM |
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thanks - great minds think alike
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| Re: To Bob, Love Ed by Bobjim |
large_geese 212.135.1.80 |
10-May-04/6:11 AM |
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That's one of the best poems I've ever read!!
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| Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.140 |
10-May-04/6:39 AM |
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It's hard for me to believe that anyone could find fault in this. Yet someone with more knowledge than I, might.
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| Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac |
Shuushin 147.154.235.53 |
10-May-04/7:09 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 152.18.129.179 |
10-May-04/10:55 AM |
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That's your leaving rant?! What a crock!
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| Re: Fighting before bed by zodiac |
Sasha 69.138.236.63 |
10-May-04/12:27 PM |
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A form all your own, elements of the interlocking Rubyat, the Terza Rima and so much else.
I have one solitary gripe: The penultimate line.
The rhyme (...and did forget...) seems forced here. "And forgot" seems more natural although I understand sacrificing sense to sound. An awkward construction with an auxillary verb instead of a smoothe preterite seems out of place here.
However that sole fault is not reason enough not to give you a -10-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.53 |
10-May-04/12:32 PM |
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Well said.
Adieu and Fare-well.
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| Re: Obituary for the Moon by wilco |
wilco 24.176.102.131 |
10-May-04/12:46 PM |
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I wonder why hypatia changed her name to "Deleted User".....I liked the old name better....
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| Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT |
wilco 24.176.102.131 |
10-May-04/12:49 PM |
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This is a good one, for shizzle.
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| Re: California triolets by zodiac |
cuddlytiger17 64.80.246.102 |
10-May-04/12:53 PM |
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Wow, the rhythm and overall composition is amazing! Even if you weren't really reading the words, you fall in love with it just by the way it sounds! Good work!
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| Re: A Word by cuddlytiger17 |
Sasha 69.138.236.63 |
10-May-04/12:58 PM |
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I find this to be, through no fault of your own, entirely too much like entirely too many other poems on this subject to give it anything more than an 8
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| Re: To PinkBunnyofDoom by Vanity |
cuddlytiger17 64.80.246.102 |
10-May-04/1:02 PM |
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I think this poem is far above my comprehension lol, but it seems to be very in-depth and significant.
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| Re: THE 7315 by Garrett S Sexton |
cuddlytiger17 64.80.246.102 |
10-May-04/1:03 PM |
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What is this? I'm confused...:/
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| Re: An Angel's Caress by Southern_Bell |
cuddlytiger17 64.80.246.102 |
10-May-04/1:05 PM |
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This poem is so beautiful!! I just wanted to cry! I could picture everything and it felt so real...*sighs* You have some talent!
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