Re: государства by Wobble McFly	Sasha 69.138.224.76	1-May-04/5:23 PM
On second thought, I think I've seen this before. Or at least parts of it
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.224.76	1-May-04/5:26 PM
Il faut te dire que c'est bien traduit ainsi que tes propres poèmes sont bien éctrits.
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 194.222.223.239	1-May-04/7:13 PM
So are you a student who was formerly a soldier which turned into a college, or formerly a student of soldiers which turn into colleges, or what?
Re: The road to melancholy by INTRANSIT	<{Baba^Yaga}> 66.229.187.185	1-May-04/10:47 PM
I actually love when a writer can honestly talk about what they know.
regarding some deleted poem...	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:24 AM
while brevity is a necessity on a website where we have no patience to read a poem but can spend hours arguing over petty differences of opinion, i think that this could be the start of something much longer. you take in very broad ideas and touch on several issues deserving several stanzas. i think that you should consider expanding this into something more epic.
Re: Simply beautiful by tre	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:28 AM
i agree with hypatia... too much telling, perhaps not enough showing or representing. cutting it down some could greatly improve it, but a solid start ;-)
regarding some deleted poem...	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:30 AM
i made the mistake of viewing all the comments before voting... my opinion has been marred. after reading it a second (and a third) time, 9
Re: Cold by horus8	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:34 AM
i'm not sure where "electrolytes" fits in beyond flowing via syllables and assonance... that is, the meaning of the word. beyond my nit-pickyness, well put together.
Re: Russian Space Station by wilco	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:35 AM
i feel like i already voted on this... did you modify the poem? maybe it was my imagination.
regarding some deleted poem...	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:41 AM
a little too repetitive through S4, and yes, i know that was the point. also, i don't think that "pimple" would be correct for this poem. it would have popped the pimple category. <<break for laughter>> i know, i know, i'm so witty...
regarding some deleted poem...	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:44 AM
careful... a ghazal is a collection of two line poems that are related, but they don't share lines. i guess there really isn't a rule against that... we'll mark up the grey area to poor descriptions of the poem style. slap on the wrist to kaolin
Re: LOVE-ABOVE LISTE by Everyone	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:46 AM
holy crap, so long and boring i had to fast forward to the comment box... cut out about 2/3 of the poem bits, please
Re: Thoughts Controlled by a Slow Server by <Wankster>	ggawrysi 147.9.151.22	2-May-04/12:47 AM
an interesting use of the programming variety
regarding some deleted poem...	Joe-joe 68.194.47.34	2-May-04/6:05 AM
I like this but disagree with its premise. Women hold all the cards...always have, always will.
Re: Samurai by SupremeDreamer	Joe-joe 68.194.47.34	2-May-04/6:06 AM
Payback is a bitch, isn't it?
Re: castle of pandas part II. by FreeFormFixation	wilco 24.176.102.131	2-May-04/8:32 AM
An 8. Simply for being different and amusing.
Re: Russian Space Station by wilco	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	2-May-04/8:48 AM
I had trouble making the connection between the space station and the balance beam, colorful wives, and never ending lives.
Re: Samurai by SupremeDreamer	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	2-May-04/8:54 AM
Good, but why 'pon, not upon?
Re: All Alone by QuirkyWonder	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	2-May-04/9:05 AM
Thank you for describing me so well. Please tell me how I am different, and how you know so much about me. Actually, I think this sort of thing is best written in the first person, unless you give the reasons that compell you to so describe another.
Re: Call of the Marine by ggawrysi	some deleted user 68.66.196.168	2-May-04/9:11 AM
I like most of this, but think "jungle" could be desert - more current - the Iraq war. Suggestions only: muscles with a knot -> muscles with knots truth. You -> truth - you The last line irks me because there is no victory in my opinion.