Re: Juno's Peacock by horus8	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	26-Apr-04/7:51 PM
Art Noir. Reminded of those private eye stories. strong.
Re: Of Gods & Beast In Villanelle by Bachus	zodiac 152.18.129.57	26-Apr-04/7:54 PM
Ace.
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 66.229.187.185	26-Apr-04/9:31 PM
Pardon me whilst I fluff my periwig Randel...
Re: Brush me away by nothingtoanyone	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	27-Apr-04/1:07 AM
This makes no sense whatsoever. 1. You appear to have omitted a word in line 1 between the words "my" and "has". 2. When you say, "broken into an unfixable size," do you actually mean, "broken into an unfixably small piece"? 3. You appear to have omitted a word in line 3 between the words "my" and "away". 4. When you say "rift raft," do you mean "riff raff"? If so, please consult a dictionary to discover the meaning of the phrase "riff raff" before reconsidering your use of the phrase. 5. When you say "dang," do you mean "dank"? 6. This poem fails. 7. You fail. 8. Q. E. D. 9. Thanks! 10. -10-
Re: exist by the indign	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253	27-Apr-04/1:15 AM
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. 2 Samuel 13:1 – 13:22
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/8:11 AM
I imagined a very large, crevicy woman with lots of surface area and all that stretching and sliding. And I have trouble believing the door actually creaked.
Re: Herman by richa	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/8:16 AM
A way of saying he has no ambition? I'm still noodling the runes and figures. Thinking stockmarket, but that goes against the ambition thing. Lost his ambition?
Re: Herman by richa	zodiac 152.30.60.103	27-Apr-04/8:19 AM
Punctuate after honeypot.
Re: Lose That Too ! by recherche	richa 81.178.217.164	27-Apr-04/7:52 AM
There is a problem with the valley daffodils and marigolds. It sounds as though you have just strung a few poeticisms together and hoped it makes sense. Have you ever seen marigolds on a valley. Really?
Re: Suicide over the course of a lifetime by GregDeEgg	Bobjim 212.135.1.53	27-Apr-04/5:10 AM
Hang your head in shame. Actually no, crawl into a hole and die
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	27-Apr-04/6:15 AM
My eyes closed half way through reading this, and I found myself unbuttoning my flies and slowly stroking my thick cock. It was only then I realised I was at work and my secretary had started to stare on iwith incredulity that masked her unbridled joy at finally seeing my swollen length exposed. Within fifteen minutes of reading this poem I had used and cast onto the floor three distended, sagging jonnies. I now have a slightly bruised ridge and a small tear in my frenulum has turned septic. Thanks! -10-
Re: sweet surrender by francis nor capule	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	27-Apr-04/6:18 AM
I laughed so hard as I read this that I soiled my new pair of Thomas Pink boxer shorts and have had to dispose of them out of the window in the loo! Thanks! -10-
Re: exist by the indign	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	27-Apr-04/6:21 AM
I grew so bored reading this that I started to pick my nose, only to realise I had a malignant cancer in my sinuses. I have subsequently had them removed and now walk around with a face like a bowling ball. Thanks! -10-
Re: Suicide over the course of a lifetime by GregDeEgg	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	27-Apr-04/6:26 AM
I was on the brink of buying a chocolate bar as an afternoon treat before I read this poem, it oso moved me that I decided I would rather give the value of my chocolate bar (26p) to a charity. I went on to the Christian Aid site which demanded a minimum donation of £15 a week, which duly signed up for. I had however forgotten that my mortgage payment was due to go out today as well and I only had enough money to pay the mortgage. Consequently, I have had my house repossed and am having tyo move in with Cliff Thornburn. Curiously enough I have always been a fan of Cliff and the chance to play snooker with him every night has so overwhelmed me with joy that I have just ejaculated into a stranger's mouth. Thanks -10-
Re: Lose That Too ! by recherche	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/7:06 AM
is "daffolds" right? Cadence is consistent, good job with that.
Re: A Proclamation to Our Lord by Joe-joe	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/7:08 AM
Not my cup of tea - but, clear enough. Is there a poetic way to express this?
Re: sweet surrender by francis nor capule	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/7:10 AM
you said "dreams are to be realized" then added it again.
Re: Lose That Too ! by recherche	zodiac 152.30.60.103	27-Apr-04/7:16 AM
Since everyone is so all about this poem, I've decided to post a list of things in it that just don't make any goddamn sense, in no particular order except that they irk me. 1) The thing with the spaces before the punctuation. 2) Breezes as they wail is stupid and just for the rhyme. What in god's name are wailing breezes doing in a pastoral, um, pasture, anyway? When, in a fit of boredom, I rewrote this poem to be about pants, I changed dale to dell and wail to smell. I liked it much better. 3) 'Nighttime as they wane' - also just for rhyme and meter. 4) 'daffolds' is not a word. 5) Marigolds wouldn't be 'Sweet with daffolds' anyway. 6) 'gaze of night' 7) The last two lines are a semantic train-wreck. Why didn't you just say "I'm sure I'd lose that too !" Oh, wait, because that would only change the triteness and nonsense level of this poem by .0001 percent.
Re: Of Gods & Beast In Villanelle by Bachus	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/8:21 AM
thematically consistent. too bad it only has two rhymes (okay, that was a joke for blindpoe's benefit)
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Apr-04/8:33 AM
might be more with less KA - still, picturesque.