| regarding some deleted poem... |
MacFrantic 204.98.23.96 |
26-Apr-04/11:41 AM |
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Sappy crap you know! Too guided and unemotional. I was hoping for a better poem with such a philosophical/flexible title. -Disappointing-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
MacFrantic 204.98.23.96 |
26-Apr-04/11:45 AM |
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Furthermore, the only adjective used was *tragic*, which should be replaced anyway. MacFan has died a little today. B^(
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
MacFrantic 204.98.23.96 |
26-Apr-04/11:49 AM |
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Scenic and Inspiring. Next to purity it was.
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| Re: Love, Fair by MacFrantic |
MacFrantic 204.98.23.96 |
26-Apr-04/11:52 AM |
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An ode to the sleeping beauty, per se.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 194.222.223.239 |
26-Apr-04/12:01 PM |
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I take it "geek from Trinity" refers to -=Dark_Angel=-, and that I can add this to my ever-growing list of -=Dark_Angel=- tribute poemes?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
26-Apr-04/12:12 PM |
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Tea tree oil doesn't smell very good. Otherwise a nice fantasy and/or picture.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
26-Apr-04/12:15 PM |
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Please correct: "eachother" "Out love" "BANG!,"
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.51 |
26-Apr-04/12:46 PM |
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as a strategy to winning one's love - destined to result in a lonely life of conversing with small birds.
a nice clipping best kept for a larger poem?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 147.154.235.51 |
26-Apr-04/12:48 PM |
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The language in this is ... problematic.
Having said that, maybe there's a market for it someplace?
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| Re: Now I'm with you by Roisin |
Shuushin 147.154.235.51 |
26-Apr-04/12:53 PM |
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A nice sentiment, and perhaps strongly felt - but too easy.
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| Re: The Brigadier's Motto by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
Stephen Robins 195.92.198.72 |
26-Apr-04/12:53 PM |
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Is this based on our mutual military friend with a large head and saddlebags overflowing with corpulent fat?
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| Re: The True Irony by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
Shuushin 147.154.235.51 |
26-Apr-04/12:58 PM |
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I just couldn't get my arms around this one. Maybe some line breaks, maybe some compartmentalization - dunno.
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| Re: D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by elizabethann |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215 |
26-Apr-04/3:08 PM |
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I thought this was going to be the pilot of a TV series about a crack team of secret agents who burst into meth labs in the middle of the night and adminster instant divorces to all the evildoers inside. I was wildly excited for a brief, sodden moment.
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| Re: D.I.V.O.R.C.E. by elizabethann |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
26-Apr-04/6:58 PM |
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I think you have too many "that" s. I'd dump them from:
insults that they
story that I'm
reality that I wish
comfort that I lost
and the "which" from: ending which I wish
options that no longer seem to exist ->options no longer existing
the hatred, which is all -> the hatred and
Good stuff though. I feel it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bachus 66.229.187.185 |
26-Apr-04/7:08 PM |
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| Re: death by xunitedx |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
26-Apr-04/7:12 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Tintagiles 142.166.239.37 |
26-Apr-04/7:13 PM |
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Did you recite this aloud as you left?
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| Re: Bottom half of a phone by That One |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
26-Apr-04/7:14 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
horus8 66.229.187.185 |
26-Apr-04/7:26 PM |
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This verges on a Robert Frost taco, but maintains guacamole.
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| Re: Juno's Peacock by horus8 |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
26-Apr-04/7:42 PM |
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Nice. But what is A mosaic of tiny infinite heavens?
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