| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.221 |
24-Apr-04/2:00 AM |
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My city is Frost's woods and pastures. Thanks for listening to my god. DgB
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| Re: factor me out by fluffigrbl11 |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/6:58 PM |
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eenteresting...
You got a ten already? Count me in.
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| Re: When feeling has been lost... by philn |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/7:02 PM |
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second stanza has some fresher language in it, but somehow its like spending a day with grandma and getting a half dollar on the way out.
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| Re: The How To on Haikus by <Wankster> |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/7:09 PM |
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I'm giving you a seven in the hopes that the 8 syllable line was intentional.
Cuz, well - that would be funny.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dan garcia-Black 67.122.13.78 |
23-Apr-04/7:32 PM |
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A telling tale told well.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sarah 68.254.109.126 |
23-Apr-04/7:42 PM |
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i believe i recognize this from live journal... (in case you'd remember me i was decidedly_duffy and was doing the 100 poems thing on lj the same time as you)...
so anyway. i love this one. esp. the last bit. makes me smile. and am happy to see you again!
sarah
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:14 PM |
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omg - this is long. I'll need some time to digest this... a couple weeks should do it.
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| Re: Of Dreams and Obscurity by wilco |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:16 PM |
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I can't imagine anyone too tall to leap.
How does that work?
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| Re: Humidity by Lifeboatman |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:18 PM |
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is there a missing word in the next to last line?
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| Re: Radiation Reflections by sarah |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:22 PM |
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I think your search for alliteration and rhyme put a slight, likely unintentional, comedic twist to the thing.
It is difficult to take such a thing seriously when it rhymes too conveniently.
The only examples I can think of involve war.
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| Re: Chronic Depression by Ice |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:24 PM |
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A good exercise - writing this stuff will help you to write the things people want to read.
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| Re: Deceiving by Ice |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:29 PM |
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I do like the idea of adding some sound effects, etc. - but not enough of it here to realize that idea.
This is just so classic a pimple - the one word I come to is "endearing".
But this subject has been so done. and done.
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| Re: jammin in the basement by xunitedx |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:31 PM |
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AABBCC... rhyming is maddening - it really is.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
23-Apr-04/8:32 PM |
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That last line made me think of Frost, and then I had a hard time thinking of anything else.
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| Re: The Brigadier's Motto by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
sarah 68.254.109.126 |
23-Apr-04/11:01 PM |
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very interesting... i like it
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| Re: Words that the Earth has to say⦠by nothingtoanyone |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215 |
24-Apr-04/5:06 AM |
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I bet you wish you were an elf. Yeah, that would be so cool, wouldn't it, to be an elf? But what if everyone else was an elf too? No, that wouldn't be as good. God, you're pathetic.
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| Re: Words that the Earth has to say⦠by nothingtoanyone |
halofriendly 63.160.44.97 |
24-Apr-04/5:56 AM |
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| Re: The How To on Haikus by <Wankster> |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/6:11 AM |
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| Re: Words that the Earth has to say⦠by nothingtoanyone |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/6:14 AM |
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last line is perfect...do to plain and simple stupidity....Genius! Unfortunately, the rest of it is endlessly unbearable drivel, and it is only 9 lines long. Well...Here goes the spin...5
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| Re: jammin in the basement by xunitedx |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/6:16 AM |
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HOly shit that is horrible...it is so bad that it is good. 10
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