| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/6:20 AM |
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the ending is disappointing, because the rest of it is so good.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/6:28 AM |
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hahahah.. that zodiac is funny.... He is not passionate enough about the matter to spend any more time on it, but plenty passionate to count up your titles that fit in the category of adj-noun??/? Unbelievable.
but funny.
Good poem. Also funny.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 131.111.212.215 |
24-Apr-04/6:30 AM |
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| Re: fortune cookie by the indign |
zodiac 67.240.192.135 |
24-Apr-04/6:32 AM |
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This is how "Kubla Khan" would sound if Coleridge had done the crack instead of the smack.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.192.106 |
24-Apr-04/9:23 AM |
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Do you know the area around Cuttingsville?
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| Re: Sold by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
24-Apr-04/10:10 AM |
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| Re: Words that the Earth has to say⦠by nothingtoanyone |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
24-Apr-04/10:12 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
24-Apr-04/10:14 AM |
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A unfasionably tired sentiment extremely well said.
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| Re: untitled by minty |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
24-Apr-04/10:17 AM |
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Ack.
Hey - not bad for a poem of this type; one of the better ones.
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| Re: You by Fire_is_cool |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
24-Apr-04/10:37 AM |
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Makes me wonder who begat pain and/of suffering if death begat this child described (or, as you say - you).
Are your friends pain and suffering?
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| Re: Sold by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/10:49 AM |
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Why not lose the ; after "truth" and change "Then" to "Than" Still a bit clumbsy. Other than that, it's very nice.
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| Re: untitled by minty |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/10:58 AM |
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A good theme, but could be said in half as many words, or at least more interestingly.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.155.104 |
24-Apr-04/11:41 AM |
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"To so confuse the daffodils" would be better said "That so confuses daffodils?" Otherwise, swell.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/12:14 PM |
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Is it heart or mind
That so confuses daffodils?
They twitch at first, . . .
Yes, I like it. I'll do a revision, and will appreciaty your replacing your vote.
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| Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
edpeterson 68.79.24.84 |
24-Apr-04/12:19 PM |
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um, somebody gave this a 10 because that is where the spinning wheel of his or her mouse landed. Do you not know that all voting on this site is arbitrary??? Well, maybe not all, because apparently there are some not with the program. here's my spin....
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 147.226.158.207 |
24-Apr-04/12:50 PM |
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Beautifully done. I wish that I could use simplicity so effectively. I usually just say too much.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Prince of Void 217.218.131.139 |
24-Apr-04/2:10 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/2:37 PM |
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Maybe a line break before "Commense this stagnation"
What's a girl to do? Call him! Not bad, not bad at all.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/2:41 PM |
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"Your hand touches my throat" leads me to sinister thoughts, but you didn't go there. A nice, dreamy love poem.
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| Re: She Searches For Love by validus_vox |
some deleted user 68.66.196.168 |
24-Apr-04/2:45 PM |
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Something inconsistant about "Leaving temporary memories, but serving permanent scars"
A good story, but seems too wordy.
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