Re: Mariana by wilco	New Life Drug 67.112.121.237	31-Mar-04/10:07 PM
nice images. i love the word caustic. it reminds me of this band "Caustic Notions" but thats beside the point. this sounds like something i would write, therefore, i like it.
Re: I Have A Love by Spindle	New Life Drug 67.112.121.237	31-Mar-04/10:09 PM
its cute
Re: Dreams and Galaxies by embersandenvelopes	embersandenvelopes 68.81.6.243	1-Apr-04/1:40 AM
In response, to clarify, I capitalized the "A" for a reason. I want it to be read 2 different ways. Well, maybe not quite so different but if you read it again, you may see what I mean. That is also why I left the 'y' lowercase. I do that a lot in my poems, should you come across it again. The word "spell" was also repititious for a reason. I agree with you that the reader might not be clear on what the poem is about, however my intention is to hopefully guide the reader into coming to their own conclusion in regards to how my words portray one portion of what may be going on in their life. Anyway, thanks for the comments and I hope mine might have cleared some things up for you.
Re: Jesus-f-ingChrist I'm Sober by embersandenvelopes	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	1-Apr-04/2:40 AM
An accident involving your bum and a gay man's knob.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	1-Apr-04/2:43 AM
A crab nappy.
Re: A Dangling Poo by zodiac	zodiac 67.240.192.19	1-Apr-04/3:43 AM
<VERSE THREE - In Whiche Our Hero Concludes His Adventures in a Moste Curious Fashion!> Now your thighs are wet with a sweaty gruel, The scent's intense, yeah, but I'm one stool You can't pick off with paper so you'll Have to M*A*S*H me, babe, cause I'm Klinger. Cause I'm not gonna drop or disappear - Except, perhaps, if it wasn't so queer, (Which I hate) you could make like Richard Gere And push me back in with One Finger (-Answer, I mean, or Bachus or Shuushin - Now come on Everyone, & start the confusion!)
regarding some deleted poem...	Richard 172.147.73.143	1-Apr-04/4:26 AM
I don't know what's going to get you into more trouble. Homosexuals thinking you're comparing them to Jews, or the Jews thinking you're saying they’re homosexuals. Watch it or you'll find either your bunghole or portfolio violated. Could be both! :)
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.192.19	1-Apr-04/4:32 AM
This is the best of your posts. I meant what I said before, though I originally suspected Jeremi or one of the British. Consider that a bonus compliment.
Re: A Dangling Poo by zodiac	Richard 172.147.73.143	1-Apr-04/4:42 AM
Okay, I get what you mean by "original" now. Just a suggested edit on verse three, "cause I'm Klinger" is good, but maybe "cause I'm a Klinger" would be better? Otherwise a simply marvelous feast, on the unknown thoughts of a constipated nugget of furry waste :)
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/4:52 AM
Dissociative identity disorder I think. Often associated with those abused as a child. The homosexual alter ego - probably how freud would have explained DID. Like on most things he would be wrong.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.192.19	1-Apr-04/4:57 AM
Each of these lines should be cut in half, or thirds, or whatever. "The one your mother wouldn’t let you wear inside the house" should be deleted.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.192.19	1-Apr-04/5:10 AM
Please say 'saw' instead of 'envisioned'. Thank you.
Re: Jesus-f-ingChrist I'm Sober by embersandenvelopes	Nicholas Jones 137.44.1.200	1-Apr-04/7:33 AM
Why do you feel the need to censor your own use of the word 'fucking'? Are you so ground down by the repressive culture of your country you can't even bear to type it out properly?
Re: Jesus-f-ingChrist I'm Sober by embersandenvelopes	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:05 AM
Like how you got from sheep to where's my drink in one easy step.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:08 AM
Blood does not puss, it bleeds. Also I do not think you should be ending a line with 'the', twice!
Re: Finest Hour by creedclay	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:12 AM
Nature could create a bird flying free. Only man could create the window. A bit drawn out the sentiment here, you have five lines to say the bird has free will.
Re: hands by New Life Drug	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:14 AM
The repetition is a bit odd. Like 'love with the right amount of personification' and pockets in hands'
Re: Mariana by wilco	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:20 AM
Some of the similes and metaphors, because they are not extended through the poeme, can be confusing. Some interesting ones though.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:35 AM
It reads well of course, but the first line is no good. 'a stay in your mountains' at best it is a crude euphemism.
Re: Astronomical by DeadtotheWorld	richa 81.178.243.245	1-Apr-04/8:38 AM
Could do with being shortened, would help to manage the rhythm.