regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	27-Feb-04/7:22 AM
is quite good, only some slight moments where it sounds a slave to the rhyme.
Re: Lifes work by richa	richa 81.178.216.194	27-Feb-04/10:10 AM
(original) The dumb squirrel has again tilted the earth the clod-footed geranium's ear bends to bedrock, a boneless body again to be buried up to its neck in soil. Spadework, the skies stay open.
Re: Passion is by fevriere	richa 81.178.216.194	27-Feb-04/10:14 AM
How adorable to read a poeme about passion from one of poemrankers Christian Youth. (the collapse thing is a bit naff and 'stroke me'?)
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.216.194	27-Feb-04/1:05 PM
Tell me something I may not know
Re: Two words by bondjedi	horus8 24.130.214.180	27-Feb-04/3:34 PM
real good.
Re: RAP MASTER by UAFANTHORPEY	horus8 24.130.214.180	27-Feb-04/3:35 PM
Me too, I had a herpe so fucking huge last week, I could stand behind it.
Re: The Worst First by MacFrantic	horus8 24.130.214.180	27-Feb-04/3:36 PM
"You are" not so bright aye?
Re: Little Tounge by Figure 8	horus8 24.130.214.180	27-Feb-04/3:36 PM
radical
Re: Their Little Girl 2 by AskittlesK	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 194.222.223.239	27-Feb-04/4:01 PM
question... why did u put question... why did u put There's already a shit Type 0 Negative song called this. I suggest you cram a piano into your mouth and then punch a beehive. on one of my poems... i wrote this poem myself.. i looked it up and yes there is a song called Don't Wanna Be Me but its not the same song.. not even close.. i just thought i'd tell you this... on one of my poemes... do u not no that u can reply to a comment on the same page... i just thought i'd tell you this...
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 24.130.214.180	27-Feb-04/5:15 PM
Could you turn "plume" to plumb and "afternoon" to afterpoon. I believe then, you would recieve the heavenly thrust required to slice your ear off and fially eat it with some fresh parsnip and vinegar.
Re: Little Tounge by Figure 8	zodiac 67.240.192.45	27-Feb-04/5:15 PM
Tongue.
Re: The Unholiest Sonnet Ever by horus8	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:07 PM
where is the unholy part? Moves along purty well.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:39 PM
is it the boogie monster??
Re: Lifes work by richa	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:43 PM
that last bit - it's visual to be sure, but think I liked the other version? The squirrel completely freezes the ability for me to look around and consider the setting for me, and that image is what I'm left with. If that was the intent then kudos, but its quite a departure from the previous version.
Re: The Worst First by MacFrantic	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:45 PM
Sorry, but it just seems like a rhyming exercise; I think most of us here, yourself included, could probably do one of these every 12 minutes.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:47 PM
This line: "It dies now dies into sleep. " - is good. The rest - there are so many ways this is said, and the way you have here is about half of them.
Re: Two words by bondjedi	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:48 PM
okay, I'll buy it.
Re: Life by NobodysSon	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:50 PM
I'm thinking this works, but I almost got tripped up about 2/3rds way in; maybe could be trimmed a bit? I really wish it was something beside the word LIFE at the end.
Re: beef flavored ramen by ThePariahDog	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	27-Feb-04/7:53 PM
good observations, well put.
Re: Passion is by fevriere	richa 81.178.197.99	28-Feb-04/3:11 AM
The first few lines show a certain potential. 'Outside I am watching and life goes round/ like prose and just as' The rest is a bit off, but reading the entire submissions of a day. Something like this sticks out.