| regarding some deleted poem... |
Blue Magpie 212.205.251.3 |
17-Feb-04/11:00 PM |
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The metre is a bit ropey in places, S1L2, S3L2 S3L4, S4L3 and L4, and most S5 which is the worst in my view, but still it is nicely written.
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| Re: An Angel by broken_wing11 |
Blue Magpie 212.205.251.3 |
17-Feb-04/11:03 PM |
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A little repetitive in the message.
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| Re: Nature by dreamsdiefirst |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
17-Feb-04/2:53 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
17-Feb-04/2:54 PM |
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May I snap my fingers to this?
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| Re: Outsider by Miggy |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
17-Feb-04/2:55 PM |
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Jesus may I someday sing like this.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
plinkyponk 62.254.64.7 |
17-Feb-04/3:06 PM |
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have you got any poems on All Poetry? i wouldnt mind reading some more of yours
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
17-Feb-04/3:18 PM |
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I think there is a good wind through this poesie.
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| Re: The daisy-chain girl by richa |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
17-Feb-04/3:25 PM |
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Buttery, lovely and locked up. Not unlike my buns!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.59.175 |
17-Feb-04/4:14 PM |
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And yet somehow it's still the same poem.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 67.240.59.175 |
17-Feb-04/4:28 PM |
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I don't know anyone who speaks in such a string of cliches as you write. I'm forced to conclude that you don't speak this way, either, if only because anyone who did speak this way would constantly be having heavy things thrown at him/her until he/she was either in a coma or otherwise prevented from posting on an internet poetry site. From this (admittedly tenuous) hypothesis, it follows that you must think there is a different kind of language used in poetry writing, which is entirely comprised of cliches, and that if you were to ever write something that wasn't entirely cliche (ie, something more like the original expressions people use in casual speech) it could not be properly termed a poem and your fragile construction of the universe with you as its central character and greatest poet would collapse around you like so many husks. But here's an idea: why not take a crack at original expression, CLS? It's not like you could get any more abused here.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Goad 217.82.1.191 |
17-Feb-04/4:53 PM |
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Cristal, this is your best yet! well done. Congratulations.
btw, how do you get eyes to burn? I've tried a number of approaches and all they ever do for me is sputter and melt. I rarely even bother plucking them any more. I see you tried burning his hair too! Bet you won't do that again, lol! You're totally right, the smell just pervades everything. It won't go away for weeks -- poor you.
Darling, that illness sounds exactly like appendicitis! Get it checked right away, if it explodes you're in trouble!
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| Re: Respiration for a Lack of Dizzyness by fevriere |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
17-Feb-04/6:30 PM |
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| Re: Your Beauty by Birdman42s |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
17-Feb-04/7:30 PM |
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I very much like the last stanza - the rest, though nicely said, doesn't say too much that is original.
Almost ironically demeaning it its mundaneness; near satire (would be a more interesting piece from that angle, would it not?)
Btw - have you studied the word "pretty"? It really is noteworthy.
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| Re: The daisy-chain girl by richa |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
17-Feb-04/7:56 PM |
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You make me work so hard with your poetry.
I understand dandelions and litter (putting a flowerpot over them for extended cultivation).
and I can *almost* see your connections with the measure, the clock, the stepping; these incremental units.
They are, supposedly, linked somehow. You say "spriritual vs mathematic" - have you been reading Spinoza before bedtime again??? Maybe some Tipler?
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| Re: The daisy-chain girl by richa |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
17-Feb-04/7:58 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
17-Feb-04/8:23 PM |
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"The covers stir over there sandwiched content."
nice!
(make it "their", though)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
wilco 24.176.102.131 |
17-Feb-04/8:49 PM |
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| Re: Time's End by Quarton |
vulcan 62.220.126.5 |
17-Feb-04/10:58 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
hatedestruction 167.196.165.95 |
18-Feb-04/11:37 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.87 |
18-Feb-04/11:48 AM |
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POEMERANKER ALERT: USER HAS RHYMED 'love' WITH 'above'. ABORT ABORT ABO..... gggggfffpppt* -10-
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