| Re: Keeper of Faces by annabellee |
irishfolksuicide 81.178.201.178 |
9-Feb-04/10:28 AM |
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The end is trite. The idea that yes there is a meaning to life is one which you can not adequately defend.
The rest of it is quite good, zippy.
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| Re: After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac |
Shuushin 147.154.235.52 |
9-Feb-04/10:50 AM |
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Took me a couple reads to appreciate it, but I like it.
My main hesitation was the many prepositional phrases - having said that, I really want the first line to be:
"After this season of ice is over" - see, another prep phrase, but it seems to flow better, imho.
My ear keeps wanting "warm" to be an adverb, rather than a noun - but somehow it works (as is often the case).
And I'd prefer some specific types of tree and wine and weed.
But, after a few reads, the idea of it convinces me - its a good perspective. Good enough to build a snowman out of -8-
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| Re: Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/12:23 PM |
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A stupendous challenge to idiots everywhere.
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| Re: Suggestions by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/12:25 PM |
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11. Acceptance into the raunchnpaunch kingdome that is Jeremi P Handrinos.
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| Re: Secrets by gouvchick |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/12:32 PM |
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Every poem is a prayer to Oprah.
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| Re: Keeper of Faces by annabellee |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/12:35 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/12:36 PM |
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Some people wear glasses.
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| Re: Suggestions by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
Shuushin 147.154.235.52 |
9-Feb-04/12:39 PM |
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what exactly is a custard cream, anyway?
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| Re: Fastened to my belt by irishfolksuicide |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:11 PM |
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| Re: Suggestions by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
9-Feb-04/1:11 PM |
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1. Squelch rubber on your unibike.
2. Flip off Mrs. BOddington and her poodle
3. Get the New York times.
4. Clean the bottom of the bird cage
5. Break dance.
6. Watch Flash Dance.
7. Call Kevin Bacon's agent
8. Eat a hot pocket
9. Skim the top of the pool
10.Buy a bucket of Chicken and sit on it.
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| Re: Night Penchant by Shardik |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:12 PM |
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| Re: Broken bridge by That One |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:13 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:14 PM |
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Good use of these before fireballs.
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| Re: Taller Girl by lastobelus |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:15 PM |
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I don't believe in segregation. I couldn't finish it.
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| Re: I must by phbiscuit |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:18 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 24.222.81.233 |
9-Feb-04/1:18 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
andrewjthomas 192.150.10.200 |
9-Feb-04/4:45 PM |
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maybe i'm just too in-the-gutter, but "a one-eyed king" feels a bit too phallic
otherwise, i like the yin/yang of it
and i really dig the word play (sorted/sordid)
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| Re: Broken bridge by That One |
That One 66.119.33.135 |
9-Feb-04/7:20 PM |
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Thank you for your input.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shuushin 207.5.211.177 |
9-Feb-04/7:46 PM |
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a strong one.
"in the limp light
of a grey March dawning"
rocks.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Johnnie Baptiste 195.157.153.253 |
10-Feb-04/3:15 AM |
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