Re: The back of a shovel? by horus8	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	17-Jan-04/5:39 PM
"Then..." I think? good one.
Re: Outhouse by newagepoet2000	Shade_dreamer 64.105.60.13	16-Jan-04/9:54 AM
There is an art to crude imagry. This doesn't cut it.
Re: Stand by me by Cougarchic	Everyone 163.1.146.87	16-Jan-04/10:08 AM
This piece sounds very forced. As a poete, when you end up with lines like "My state of mind is a real disgust" or "Till I can heal my burn" you really ought to be asking yourself "Have I been praying enough?". Well? Have you? Because if you haven't, how can you possibly hope to come up with good, rhyming lines through the love of Christ without compromising on the sheer absurdity quotient? A good effort, though! -7-
Re: Miss Understanding by OneFingerAnswer	Everyone 163.1.146.87	16-Jan-04/10:23 AM
I think it is one of the great tragedies of society that on the playground the word "gay" is synonymous with "filthy urchin". Can't children find something better to do during playtime than tearing madly about the place calling each other "gay"? It's extremely damaging because some of those children will actually be homos and, before you know it, they'll be taken in by all the hype and might start to believe that there is something "filthy" and "urchin-like" about being a "raving bender". Which there isn't. Thanks and God Bless.
Re: across the lake by baden	baden 203.220.226.148	16-Jan-04/7:00 PM
inspired by the clearest day ,looking across a lake in nz and dreaming
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.245.252	17-Jan-04/8:04 AM
Not sure the eccentric rhyming scheme works. No need to interupt the story in such a way. That aside this is a very poignant allegory. Possibly your best with sidewalked.
Re: across the lake by baden	richa 81.178.245.252	17-Jan-04/8:08 AM
Seems to flow well bar the last verse. A little unremarkable though - would get a few marks on the dark angel mediocrity scale perhaps.
Re: Liberty! by fevriere	Goad 217.82.0.175	17-Jan-04/10:34 AM
This is an excellent exultation. Hoot'n'holler!
Re: (Come find me) by zodiac	Goad 217.82.0.175	17-Jan-04/10:48 AM
I like the first three stanza's quite a lot, but the end doesn't cut it. What are you saying, that the whimsy of a sentient fungus is not just a metaphor and this is a horror poem? Or are you alluding to the effects of poison/hallucinogenic mushrooms -- if so it could be sketched much better. But you taught me a new word, that's pretty rare, lol. Nitpick: no need to say great when in the next line you say colossal.
Re: Liberty! by fevriere	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:15 PM
Is it shaped like concrete?
Re: Liberty! by fevriere	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:16 PM
Or do you think that if you keep repeating the word Liberty it will turn into a concrete poem.
Re: How rifted by Crakyamuni	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:17 PM
The best thing about this poem is your name.
Re: How rifted by Crakyamuni	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:18 PM
Tell me though what were the 'radicals' arranging? Another stupid fucking 7 Eleven for you and your friends to stand in front of after school?
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:20 PM
Unfortunately, you get off lucky. Because WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU SING THE SAME FUCKING SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN! CHRIST, you are the ultimate one trick poney. GOD, TAKE A FuCKING CLASS or something? Please.
Re: happy b'day maria by yeats1	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:24 PM
Yeats huh? Yeah right.
Re: knocked down to look up by singinkygal	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:24 PM
Sure it wasn't knocked up to look down?
Re: Love is Like a Rose by justjay	horus8 24.126.112.80	17-Jan-04/12:28 PM
My friend you have been misinformed we all know love is an exploding american soldier on a tenspeed in the middle of some sand niggered hell hole.
regarding some deleted poem...	sonawrote 205.188.208.105	17-Jan-04/1:37 PM
ooh how I live in your mind.....I feel there...great verse
regarding some deleted poem...	sonawrote 205.188.208.105	17-Jan-04/1:44 PM
did you date my ex....LOL
regarding some deleted poem...	Goad 217.82.0.175	17-Jan-04/2:00 PM
The only lines in this shit that haven't already been in literally hundreds of wannabe poems, stupid pop songs, or country & western songs is "All I ever wanted was to swim in your heart/And maybe once a week a chance to rim while you fart" Ok, the second line isn't actually in either any pop songs or this shit. Oh shit, I just googled for "swim in your heart" and I was wrong. It's not original either. "rim while you fart" gets no googles, maybe you should use it instead? To have ONE original phrase at least?