Re: Haikus for Nentwined by horus8	richa 81.178.227.251	3-Jan-04/10:16 AM
and tis the year of the monkey
Re: Haiku 2004 by Princess_Snowflake	lastobelus 217.226.20.245	3-Jan-04/7:29 AM
This is absolutely briliant. Though I suspect the use of "the" in line two was incidentall, and intended only to achieve sylable count, the result is nevertheles startlingly evocative.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.239.251	3-Jan-04/12:03 PM
When I think of a lyric, I think of lines of waffle and then some incendiary line that can be quoted ad nauseum. This is good too, like the musicality. It would probably make a decent vilanelle (like a lot of lyrics).
Re: Where was god? by little_big_nose	titan69 213.48.74.56	3-Jan-04/1:19 AM
Its very hard to beleve in GOD in this mad world
Re: Rape by titan69	horus8 24.126.116.54	3-Jan-04/1:30 AM
Yeah, well... It parallels the writing.
Re: Too obvious by INTRANSIT	horus8 24.126.116.54	3-Jan-04/1:32 AM
Have you ever got a zit in your ear?!!!!!! It's fucking murder.
Re: Snowboarding, Sierra Nevada, 12/31/03 by Plaidypus	horus8 24.126.116.54	3-Jan-04/3:42 AM
how you endowed angels and demons into this poem is why you are hopeless.
Re: Whose God? by elizabethann	Everyone 81.128.149.101	3-Jan-04/4:31 AM
Like you, I also worship the insenstive, impure God of monstrously daft poetry.
Re: Haikus for Nentwined by horus8	INTRANSIT 205.188.208.105	3-Jan-04/5:52 AM
Here here! And where is he these days? And his pops.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.208.105	3-Jan-04/6:01 AM
I like stanzas 1,6,11. The rest sounds pimply. Unless you're hiding a villanelle in there. n/v
Re: Haikus for Nentwined by horus8	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	3-Jan-04/6:10 AM
a ten in the hopes we may be blessed with his holy presence.
Re: Too obvious by INTRANSIT	Blindpoetry 68.106.171.15	3-Jan-04/6:30 AM
"After some treatments you'll look like a sith." Is that a Star Wars reference? lol Sounds a lot like it... Nice poem.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.209.14	3-Jan-04/6:37 AM
If the meaning of the holiday is so damn important, why is it only one day a year we treat people "nicely".
Re: I smell coffee by Princess_Snowflake	lastobelus 217.226.20.245	3-Jan-04/7:37 AM
Oh YES baby. This coffee, it VIBRATES? Seriously I don't care how many rules this poem breaks I love it. It is robust, exuberant, with an innocent aftertaste of blossoms, full of body. And full of metaphorical body, or at least i read it that way, but I'm just an old lech. I COULD NOT STOP thinking "blowjob" the whole way through. I WANT TO BE COFFEE!!!! Can I be coffee, can I please please? KEEP going snowflake, I think you are the next Princess Bukowski.
regarding some deleted poem...	lastobelus 217.226.20.245	3-Jan-04/7:45 AM
There's no way one day is enough for remembering the way Our Lord came. It was a prodigious coming, a coming like no other coming before and no coming since. Borne among animals, what He proved in his growth requires WEEKS out of the year to comprehend.
Re: Eating My Soul by little_big_nose	lastobelus 217.226.20.245	3-Jan-04/8:53 AM
I'm trying to parse the first stanza and I would like to know if I got it right. I'll add in the conjunctive phrases I am using to provide an interpretation in square brackets: [while]Eating my soul[,] Your touch is so cold [that] I thought you meant [to eat] everything [but instead] You [have] made it into a whole lot of NOTHING [making the exercise of having my soul eaten seem somewhat pointless since it no longer exists] Ok, I know that last bit is a little more than a conjunctive phrase, but did I get it more or less right? Thanks.
regarding some deleted poem...	Everyone 81.128.149.101	3-Jan-04/8:57 AM
I think it's ace that God flew down from Jesu Park in the form of His only son so that He could suffer on the cross, then die, then come back to life again, then turn back into the non-humanoid God, then fly back up to Jesu Park, all so that He wouldn't have to send us to Hell. But rather than go through all that, why didn't he just not send us to hell? Why arse around on a cross? To pay the price for our sins? A price that He Himself has inflicted? Is that justice? What is just about Jesu taking the flack for our naughtiness? It makes no sense! nooooooooooooo!
regarding some deleted poem...	lastobelus 217.82.4.163	3-Jan-04/11:04 AM
I know exactly how you feel. I too have always hated that weird smell that girls have when they cry.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.239.251	3-Jan-04/11:50 AM
'other' indeed!
Re: Haiku 2004 by Princess_Snowflake	richa 81.178.239.251	3-Jan-04/11:54 AM
You seem to have put effort into getting the syllable count correct. Unfortunately it should be 5-7-5 not 5-5-7. Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku. This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.