sliver
on unsung love by khuscen
6 Nov 2003, 4:41 PM
I've has women drive me away with that piercing glare. Makes me shiver.
Wow, I need to read more of your stuff, This is Excellent.
I'm going to be a whiney little bitch right now and ask: Why is it you can post 4 at a time and the rest of us only three? Multiple personalities excepted.
I've never been stoned. Sad, isn't it.
I've been in love like that once, when I was 17 or so. I had to let her go. The poem I wrote her is on this site, click my name and read Dear Love, That's my version.
A souped up hemi hearse? Sweet. I know where there's a '48 pontiac silverstreak hearse just begging to be restored{Not to change the subject}
Such low votes, here-let me help
Young love is probably more important to the formation of who you will be than anything else. This too, keep writing.
So, did you get him?
nice. rings honest.
rolls right along.
suggestion:
Endless pain[s]
Motion drain[s]
a nice distillation.
Where all minivans belong.
I get it - CARachters; a coinage!
a blown radiator - is one car heaped onto another?
car clues: [mercury] sable, [plymouth] voyager, [i forgot, honda?] Escape? hemi as partial - cute.
here are some car cues of mine:
16G,1G BOV,2600ACT,AFC,MSD - is that enough to guess what it is?
I had one of those a while back - hit a phone pole with it.
A bad injector?
A nice descriptive bit of motorhead writing - and it even rhymes; must be good.
I think the poet owes it to the poet's self to be as clear in the message as possible. Otherwise, the poem becomes a riddled sphinx. Good quest. 22.222