Shuushin
on God bless your stool plop by <{Baba^Yaga}>
6 Nov 2003, 8:35 AM
I'm sorry, this is crap.
In all your personalities you show a gift for fresh perspective - and that comes easily to you.
But this putting it into a readable form thing; harder, eh?
- when you find that the poem just drops out of you, instead of just posting the shit - how about spending a little time to form it into something presentable?
Maybe then you won't need nine avatars to carry things to the screen.
The shock of the stink only carries you so far (or I've just gotten used to it).
greets ShabigNlittleOHbigN
A clever riddle, pleasantly done. Didja mean to leave the "e" off of hast[e]? Hard to tell with the dialect.
Nice lil tweak with monday, you always manage some method of keeping the form intact when you start to slide a bit off course.
Damned good vil. 9
The best one I have seen from you, well done.
Blessed with 10.
settle...?
that or someone that has studied his works extensively.
written for a girl as is obvious!!!!
Only poesyests know the troof.
this girl broke my heart . . .
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
6 Nov 2003, 12:08 PM
Too much light blue around these sentences.
Commencement. Is it a moment of freedom, enslavement, or simply exchanging one set of shackles for another? There are some nice analogies and ambiguities here, which could be drawn out further. As is, the ambiguity disappears suddenly, and the analogies with that other rite of passage fade away before offering a metaphor for the mucky black soil. Still, it's a vivid and thought-provoking composition.
Bad sushi.. did you ask yourself if you had gills first? could have been a good idea.
Heres an eight.
Herman Hesse.
wiccan douche magic.
This is a wonderfull tribute to a dung beetles favourite task. Rolling poop.
I only believe in a universe of strings, and dull paperbacked escapism.
that sparks alot of memories.. first one is the best.
Stoner 9 award.
.. i wonder who would eat a potato that was used as a dildo.. -shiver- poor lad.
Corruption to me, is a slow steady leaky faucet in your bathtub, and a handful of rats turning it into an water park while all are sleeping.
Almost magically cliche running in all directions.
I felt much much worse then.