I agree, the last line is really what makes it.

I like it. I'd clean up the last two lines. Perhaps "clad in dust and web" or something...but not quite that pretentious, 'cuz that's my style.

It's very clear, yet vague enough to keep me meditating upon the metaphor. The senile woman version sounds like it would be a little more story-like, but I'd like to read it none the less.

Yeah, face cancer will do that.

nicely done

Nice idea, you can hear the pensive voice in the last three words

Great images. Wonderful poignancy 23.21

The best and worse I can say of this is that it is excellent. 24.01

Interesting, from an image of poor health all the way to a chessboard. Put DA's prawn on a skewer and bury it in an oaken chest. I like the schlepping morbidity.

Dr. Fuhrmenbresten says, "If you've seen one...you've likely seen 'em both." Not sure the reference to pubic hair fits in the grand scheme of breasts, but, I like the last two lines. 9

It chills the warm cockles of my forgotten admonition to stay out of the water. Good vote though.

I have but to gaze upon my own backyard here. Nice vision. 10

Would a gentle nighttime rain have helped to soothe this raucous Dark Corps ceremony? A "murder of crows", or "a stately procession of..."? Otherwise, nice.

You play the guitar? You must be very creative.

"Cherish" doesn't work.e with the "eh" suff-ends of the first two lines. How about "Warts ne'er Dimish."? A personal exercision and cauterization is in order. You may cherish that moment.

Indeed you both do. _-+=10=+-_

Splendid - 10- ignore Artie he is gay and didn't go to RGSHW

Quite good like getting caught fucking your sister's mouth -10-

Spanking the Monkey.... hmmmmm.... you've been calling those "900" numbers again, haven't you? Exseedingly seedy in a perversely caustic manner. I'll get back to you on the vote. I'm gonna "Marque" it on my screensaver for awhile.

look who gets the last laugh.. hrmm. wonderfull. 10