I like this, though I can't think why. 9.

Oh yeah I see a little kid waving his arms around in a temper trantrum like in the store. Hehe love it.

quite poetic

Way to reach out for attention. Says exactally what you want it to. Short and to the point. I'm liking it, here's a ten.

I need more to see if you're saying something interesting. Some work on the flow of it would make people more willing to listen to whatever message you have.

14. more poetry, less grocery list

it stumbles at the beginning but picks up rhythm as it goes. why the gawdoffal speeling? but with a rhythm tuck and a spelling fix, I think this would be really nice. 7 as it is.

I laughed. 7.

=) why "title lies in poem", though? 9.

I could think of lower forms of whoring.

Beautiful, you made the repitition so meaningful and lyric. This line "clinging us each tighter to the other" was a little awkward, could do without the "us", I think- or possibly replace w/ "clinging each of us tighter to the other". 10

hypos- hippos. I liked the play on the word pray/prey. The rhyme at the beginning made it seem cornier than you might have intended.

Actually, I really like the first and third (last) stanzas. I think it would stand more strongly without the second. But I really like it. :)

I couldn't agree more with your sentiment (my babelfish poetry may entertain you if you feel this way). However if I were to focus on your phrasing I would say that words can and are meant to persuade as well as convey. Otherwise what are salesmen? But the last stanza is gorgeous, and even more than that - it is a passionate truth.

Normally I avoid sentimentality (especially in poetry), but this poem must be good because it reminded me of the once upon a time upon a cliff's edge (I hope you will not be insulted by a crude harmony to your melody): sitting at the cliff's edge, I muse that there is where I went with my lover when lover she was and we could imagine ourselves alone but for a horse A fitting chaperone for this lonely castle wall. and alone we'd be together and together the world would fade and all that would be was the two of us and the rocks and the sea and a hundred gulls mocking our affection and now the rocks and sea and windy gusts only in my thoughts remain and dying these dreams (or close enough) but one remains (or close enough) to be near that edge, (or close enough) I long for you and Scotland.

I'm not sure exactly what this poem is about, or maybe it's about a whole bunch of things all at once, but there were some cool lines toward the end, so I give it a nine.

why the "u" for "you"? is it part of the point of the poem, or do you think it's "cool"? previous comments apply minus the "starring" (was the "u" there before? :/)

I think the "big words" are trying too hard for something that's been said too much. Though "cloven wings" has me curious. ?

?! :( :( ...

very cute. :)