I like you and your poem too.

Impressive, decoratively versed and heres a 9 for ink on my jugular.

I would add a penny and a monkey named Lenny, Spruce.

A blast ! I loved the way you worked the chapter and verse from the bible with there ages. Its very long but in this case holds the interest. Lots of fun in this (the bell, the cherry tree and heres one of your own Q-Tip awards for ....aahh fuck it, just for picturing you bleat this out thru bluecollar, poet and street verse balladier. eL NiNO 9

Chimey, but funny, as usual.

So sweet. I like the stanza in which you talk about your worst fears, the TV dinner, arriving early to "argue with the black driver"- hilarious. You need an apostrophe in Mum's (referring to her gravy).

Liked the last stanza and this plea, especially "“Give us hope, somebody! Take our minds off monotony, somebody! WE ARE GEEKS!” "

This was once in second place, but see what one little zero can do to your average?

Hmmm... Your name suits you.

Anything with the world marlboro in it is great.. the ruby ones does it for me though.. 9.. yup.. robots

Dedicated to my father. May he rest in peace.

Line 2: change to - "too" Line 8: wanting to dry what, her eyes? too forced Line 12: despise seems forced too, it is a verb, after all, and you are using it as a noun for an emotion. I am not a rhyming poet myself, so I can't really talk, but the rhyming poems that are most enjoyable to me don't have lines that all end with one syllable words, those rhymes are too obvious and predictable, and they halt the lyrical flow of the words. It doesn't seem like rhyming poetry is going to be your strongest area, at this point.

Line 8 should say "Savior's side"

Do you know what this poeme sounds like to me? It sounds like you thought about "weeping willows", and whenever you couldn't think of a word, or you could think of a word but wanted a better word meaning something similar, you looked in a dictionary or thesaurus to try and find the most sophisticated word you could, and then used that instead. The result is the slantiest pile of pretentious "you cause me to ruminate" verse I have ever seen. What a mess. Like Dante meets bosh in a crack lounge. I would urge anyone reading the words: ruminate, lachrymose, enshrouding, legion, decrepit or opprobrium, to picture the 17 year old SupremeDreamer earnestly leafing through the dictionary in search of said word, with an uncompromisingly learned expression on his bloated face. As far as I can see, if you are barely literate then your only chance to hit the big leagues as writer is to become a ballsy Y2K slam-street poete. Personally, I prefer a fusion of flash-dance with MC Hammer shit.

Between your other, more feminine sounding screenname, (which always, at first glance, has me imagine you as a 29 year old white female) and this talk of pina coladas, I am starting to re-question your purported gender. (I, personally, love pina colada's but am allowed to by society because I am a woman.) I love the way you've conveyed how oblivious you were to what she was talking about and how you managed to report the loosely constructed thoughts that were drifting through your mind.

Did you mean to include "And so on and so forth" in the nicknames section? Nice job.

Saying "grim shower" right after you were washing your face made me think you were talking about a (bathing) shower, rather than a rainstorm.

come on, a bit of effort.nice imagery, but it could be much better

You again! But you are right, these comments were worthy of preservation in a poem.

Up so late, and on the computer on the weekend. Are you okay?