lol. You really do seem to have been studying under Horus. -10-.

Nice job. -8-

I think this is a valid point...9

Go ahead and hit the brake. Just let me change lanes first.

Ace line breaks.

Hey Crystal, Remember what I told you. We are so much more in control of our lives than we think. I believe that happiness is a choice that we make. Life is very tough sometimes and in fact can be brutal. Your feelings are extreme and I hope you're discussing them with someone in a position to help you. My wife and oldest daughter suffer from depression and as a teenager I struggled with many of the issues reflected in your writing. When I was 22 I became a father and my world changed. I began to realize that it was up to me to make the best out of life and somehow I did. I still have my ups and downs but I use humor and love to get me through each day. Oh the demons are still there for sure but overall I really love life. Peace my good friend. Joe-Joe

Crystal, I really liked this piece of work. Nice Job. 2 simple points: 1. Don't sacrafice your dreams for anyone 2. You don't belong to anyone. You are your own woman worthy of joy and happiness. I'm gonna have my wife read your work...you sound just like our 20 yr old daughter!! Peace Joe-joe

...angered by salmon.... but it doesn't fit the tone of your piece. I'm green with anchovies.Sorry, dont like the trombone. another instrument maybe.

The birth of Dark Angel: ...in fear she whirled to face me wings streaming a circle behind her and pulled me close so that I could keep the darkness out but I could not protect her the darkness entered her a vacuum waiting to devour her skin ceased its glowing and a rotting foul thing she became first absinthe green and transclucent then black and charred finally to become part of the blackness itself then as if a knife had slit the sheet of void a dark angel appeared a shade of what it was before.

I was at a reading last night and someone told a story about this guy in this bar who jumped up on a table whipped out his dick and started to slice at it with a butterknife; thought you might enjoy that. 8

Very nice use of words. Keep up the good work, I inspired you earlier so now perhaps you've inspired me.. but I think I've already wrote to many night, darkness, sun set, sky, and stars/moon poems. Another one couldn't hurt anything I guess. Only so many times I can say something without saying it the same way though :P *hugs* Thanks for sharing your poem with us all :)

Crystal, If this story is the story of your life I urge you not to give up. I have been on the same search and have gone through the frustration you are feeling. Keep looking and keep being the lovely person that you are. Peace Joe-joe

Not much of a lady if she's playing with yours, is she? :)

A Pimple Infested Suicide Note The Modern Day Teenage Emote Jump Off The Boat Into The Sea SWIM WILLY, SWIM WILLY BE FREE! Get That Underwater Submarine Degree Go On That Crusade God Knows You Paid Tons Of Shrimp Just To Fade Into The Deep Blue Abyss Oh Jesu How I Will Miss That Neurotic Navy Submarine Torpedo Man He Was Rocketed Into A H20 Space Adventure 2001 Leagues Under The Sea, A Loser Odyssey

It takes a steady hand to pull the cock against the strain so determined to have its way Who will grab the cock? Who will toke the snake so we can all get out of the car and jerk ourselves off for a fucking change?

Amazing, I was wondering where my other chuck taylor went. -10-

This is quite helpful information...I wish I had read it earlier...

Well, well... Look who's evolving? Nice parody. My favourite was the cheese seats, personally

misery.. btw, the use of the enter key to perhaps shorten the length for each verse would make it neat, and easier to read, also more comprehendible (if done right) other than that, its a very good captured emotional image. not sure about the last two lines though. I think the title sucks.. need a better one. overall: 8, perhaps a nine with clean up and better title.

nod