some deleted user
on Unmasking Wyverns by horus8
20 May 2003, 4:35 PM
wow
Nice.
Chow, as in puppy chow.
Now, for you... Sterilization, enjoy the tied tubes while I ass fuck tynesha.
Is "the lord above" in everything you write? And if that line must be there, can you find nothing else to rhyme it with than love. I'm sorry, I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt but these are too insipid and predictable. They look like something I would have written when I was 10.
Holy crap! lol how do you do them soo well? i am bad at them but i love to write .
yeah?
I think it should be Am I reserved....Not bad though (7)
Nice job. It sez ruf copy so i hope to see he final 1 comin soon
That is terrible, but then again...6
heading towards something great
very young sounding
beautifully written
This is fantastic bit of poetry, but the zypher and eden seem thrown in haphazardly. i would nix them or add more references before them. still 9
Hell yeah, man. This was a great read. Killer ending. The guy looks like a model and has a supernova mind. I think I'm turning green.
Bitter Beakfast (Free verse) by D.H.Lawrence
hornless squid-beak
now putrid
after I left
after you left
after we left
it stuffed behind the sofa on a hot, hot day
and I in pyjamas for the heat.
and the flies settled on it
and cleared away the evidence of what we had (done)
but not before there were words
and back rubs
taking place on top of it
like some sort of revolting omelette topping
matted with gravy
and weighted egglingtons.
Dude I'll have you know I am to Billy Crudup what modeling is to dark angel. lol. here's at-ten-tion.
For half a second I thought the first line was clever. But then I was sucked into a black hole of insipidness. 0
A bag of puppies on the freeway.