Ranger
on Not quite myselfs. by cleverdevice
18 May 2003, 11:38 AM
Yep.
I've finally matured enough to see this.
why.
This has currently only got one comment-mine-and I really can't see that changing. However I would urge everybody who read it to vote it a zero; who knows we might just get this one an average of 0.00
Let me lead the way.
not bad to much of a dark under tone for me keep writting it suits u quite well
Not bad not to sorrowful not to cheary a ggod mix
The only thing I can say is wow. One of the greatest things I've ever read. The only flaw I could fine is you rhymed the same words multiple times. Other then that I think it's great. Definetely would work as a song (10)
What do you see when you read this poem?
Sick.
As a special treat, our friends from the meat council have provided us with some delicious tripe!
The breathy bits are okay, but this piece needs some clearasil, STAT!
(Don't mind the arrogance, it's just the thing to do) ;)
I really like the imagery of the old dead man, but I don't the the phrase old dead man.
It does seem a bit too loose in places, and 'I was very angry with God' doesn't really do credit to your ability. Even so it's an enjoyable read, and nice to see people trying something a bit more traditional/ classical (and succeeding!) 9
Was it you who told me that if you do the search for kaolin fire on here all it comes up with is something by poemwanker? If so I can see another addition to that list. Very thoughtful piece, monsieur. 9
Anchors away.
*YAAAWWWN*-oh, no, not at all
wut u take this out some old corny hooror movie before u rag on others try learnnin somthin from ur long line of poets
Yeah I suppose it does need editing, but I actually really like the way this one's going! 7