I like it, its just that last line... "as my hapiness dies" i dunno maybe i am just nitpicking. Very good.

Good job!. just dont OD :P

-8-

Your an idiot, and what the hell is up with all the "good day to you sir" "would you care for tea" "jolly good ol boy" ta ta tiddily freekin tiddily ta? But sadly, I like your poem, not becuase (like common misconception) its funny or crude but becuase i can see somthing deeper behind it. Jolly good and good day to you my boy, ta ta (I would give it a good vote but seeing that you hold the most poems on the worst list Ill help you keep it that way)-0-

adjectives & adverbs: white gray darkest fully angry loud absolutely clear troubled(waters of course, what else) raging bright sunny happy sunny Stop watching Nickelodeon and read The Colossus by Slyvia Plath. I give up, your all abunch of puddin'heads.

Jeez all this suicide stuff gets me depressed. I really like the first verse though, cadacus is right, The chorus is a little long. I have that problem sometimes when Im writing songs as well, mine are either too long or too short, I havent mastered the middle ground. I would suggest asking someone you know you likes writing songs to help you, that always helps with alot of my weak points. But overall pretty good. -7-

What in God's name is going on around here!!!!!????? Quick someone call the CDC! Apparently there's some kind of out od control virus that's attacking the taste and talent of the youth! Caducus, this poem is awful, truly truly. You have made no attempt at giving this any sense of mature craft. Everything is a cliche. Don't take this personally, don't get defensive, I sincerely am trying to give some constructive insight. What are you saying? A crows nest in a heart? WHAT IS THAT? Thoughts entered his mind but he just couldn't face it. What thoughts, face what? This is like a stick figure drawing of a man wearing a hat fishing in hole in the ice. I understand the drawing but it's pathetically under-developed. Who do you admire, poetically? What on earth do you kids read these days? I've seen better literature on the back of a shampoo bottle.

Not so much the tugging or the white fury, but every morning without fail I have to do the bend and tuck. It fights back but I can tame it after awhile.Its worse when it salutes in your sleep and you role over, talk about a rude awakening. I give it a -0- for retarded truthfulness, I want this to be dominating the worst list. Way to go! p.s. great user name.

are you down in the dumps again?

BASTERD!

Nice

Bit strange, at least your work is varied!

LS, aren't you the guy in Richmond? Something in the water down there? Love the world, I say, every pluperferct participle of it. But, you make a strong case here, almost changed my mind.

Dear boy,... I don't even know where to begin. Does Jesus condemn, or does he save? It's not heaven if in the end not everyone gets to go. Jesus gave up his life for the sake of tolerance and love. You don't know what I'm talking about do you? Either way your poem is simply a rant. Good luck.

This is excellent, relly liked it, some clever rhyms, give you a 10, can't believe some cunt would rate a poem like this with a -0-, oh well, each to his own I suppose.

This is excellent, relly liked it, some clever rhyms, give you a 10, can't believe some cunt would rate a poem like this with a -0-, oh well, each to his own I suppose.

This is excellent, relly liked it, some clever rhyms, give you a 10, can't believe some cunt would rate a poem like this with a -0-, oh well, each to his own I suppose.

Fuckin' hell, I must of liked it, i put that coment on three times. lol

A masterpiece, keep trashin people in hilarious ways, -10-

Lovley, keep it up.