sorry, must limerick: Elizabethan elizabethann was recently told by her man to doll herself up (christ, what a schmuck) But she's not really sure that she can.

You and Intransit are similar in style, just thought i'd mention it before i run like a gibbon and shout red nose day.

reminded me of some of the DaDa poetry--I like the egg in the hair reference. You've captured paranoia here.

Reminded me of http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=2745 , though I've absolutely no idea why.

Can you please write more? Your stuff is awesome!

I believe that you could tie in the crumbling of crackers with the sand sifting.... just a thought. Other than that, I would suggest that you tighten tha language a little bit...Powerful images and overall well done. 8

2nd line (in parentheses) is redundant with the title. also, I suggest cutting "Some kind of" to strengthen the image of forgotten flags--and then ask yourself if the last two lines are truly needed for the meaning of the poem... a valiant effort...you have a good grasp on imagery and "fresh" language.

Stanza 3 is hilarious my pants i have truly pissed. This is a real feelgood poem for the reader, an indulgence of humour and damn fine poetry. ( that gods wife gets about in tributes dont she) =============10

Man. Everyones droppin the V's like a seeder on a farm. And I haven't the cojones to try one meself. Ah well, all in due time. Pretty good for a practice run.

I wonder if Dr. Hawkins has that sort of negative attitude about the misfortunate?

Grated dead would be funny, too. like parmesan.

Good execution of the subject.

Whoa your pens smoking of late

Very articulate and loved the Sphinx reference, but it reads too much like a showpiece of a writing rather than anything particular. 7

if you bought him a pint, he'd be silent for an afternoon; if you bought him a gallon, he'd die of alcohol poisoning and you'd never have to hear him play again!

i can see that you have needs. there are medical professionals available to aid you in your vision-quest, at relatively reasonable rates, considering what they have to deal with on a daily basis.

Its A daisy ! It reads more like a lyric though. Still an engaging piece of writing, compiled cleverly.

Sweet and innocence shines through, originalty does not. However that will come with experience and practice. As a teen I forced myself to write which was in retrospect a mistake. However you may use parts of this poem as a theme for another poem later in life, keep writing: 6 :-)

Zombiethon, this satisfied the george A romero side of me and for that i'm tossing you 8 severed heads

Last stanza apt and sinister, goldfishes live for chewing fins. How the hell did u come up with this, well done 8