Bachus
on some deleted poem
13 Mar 2003, 11:04 AM
the last stanzas off by one.
bravo! brava! whatever, hipster-trickster!
no! you have undone it, h! some thing has been lost, here. <sigh>
BEFORE YOU CONSIDER WRITING POETRY, TRY MASTERING THE ABILITY TO MASTER THE ABILITY TO WRITE COHERENT SENTENCES IN PLAIN ENGLISH. BECAUSE IF WE CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT, HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY HOPE TO TACKLE THE PROBLEM OF INFLATION? HOW CAN WE SOLVE EDUCATION? AND HOW CAN WE EVEN BEGIN TO DEAL WITH THE "COULDN'T CARE LESS" ATTITUDE THAT IS SO DEEPLY ROOTED IN THE FABRIC OF MODERN SOCIETY? I DON'T PRETEND TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. I DON'T EVEN PRETEND TO WEAR UNDERPANTS.
DO YOU?
definitely needs a limerick:
bxjay shouts over a moan
'bout how much he feels all alone
if he "seattled" his soul
he'd get out of his hole
and so, to the west coast he's flown
Im not sure 'sexy' isn't your thing. I mean a bald beautiful girl in mens clothing can be pretty down-right sexy. Think about this some more, actually don't think...feel.
Zoran Djindjic - such a poetic name.
I like your use of the words "really sexy" to make the poeme seem really sexy. Also, great job throwing "scarred arms" in there. Poetry is always so much more profound when scars are involved. It's just that they're so deep, and so beautiful. Yes. You heard me. I said "beautiful". Because my scars ARE beautiful. They say more about me than Eminem ever could.
My real father was a dark angel, an incubi. That's why i'm supermany and have perfect nails and hairs.
whore.
no. you miss, here. 'my time is coming' is a decade (at least) too aged for I.
so I flew from you
and became what i hated:
ha, very clever.
Holy crap, this is bloody awesome. I have a pair of fairly real-looking ram horns I wear from time to time.
4-6-6 ?
Do over.
cute and suggestive.
When is grief ever wanted? Also isn't 'changing'?
oh you voyeur you
one 9 worth of delicious absurdity.