Macabre and yet a satisfying image.

give up please

Too many selfs and not enough of anything else.

what does it mean if you like both sides?

why is the language in this so arcane? the poem would be much more accessible if it were more vernacular, or, if you were trying to make it sound like a classic Romantic poem, if you stayed with formal usage. I suspect you got the zero becuse you didn't make up your mind. i won't vote until it's finished. if this is finished, i'll not vote.

"Wispy swirling white." very nice sounds, here. nice, the repeat for closure as well.

Wispy swirling white. Flashing ruby fright. Spinning,(ins. comma) sliding away (delete the period) as more and more (eh. 'more and more' is so generic. you can say it better) enter the fray. Many pass(del. 'on) in the night. (what are you trying to say--they ignore someone stranded?) (delete 'in)Wispy and swirling white.

I know why sprung is there ,but is'nt it past tense? this is happening now, i gather. Your pace is slowed with commas,while hasting? You're slowing something that happens quickly,yes? that is all. compared to v-1 this works better. lighter.

Wow. Mr. Pig, I am pleased to see a longer poem than the haikus-and this is wonderful. Other than that I can only say I love your poems! Teach me! And line 8 in stanza 2 is the best

"Dad would walk in a talcum cloud," great line. I would end this not "And smile!" but Smile that's why your not grabbing the tens.8.

High yeildings in pharmaceudicals?

Your ability to name drop is profound, but your poetry aint.

did you repeat words like blood, land, calm, morning and flesh to stress your point? Because it is mighty close to screwing your message and this poem up, but great title and message, none the less.

Oh yeah whatever so I'm just supposed to open the box and let you in? You of all people should know that Nasdaq don't just provide a deliberate obligation to squeeze, without all the fuss of salivating oyster kernals and unfulfilled brag handles. There are other perks as well, you know. And we aren't talking about a total reversal of policy, here. Merely the odd boomerang thrown in to eliminate any overhead. Whether it's up to you or not is a matter for that cone to decide, because besides curtains and foundations, what more could a potential buyer ask for?

I like this poem a whack. and pooh-poohing lowercase is old, it is meta-stuffiness. Capitals get in the way sometimes, it's as simple as that. Words are meant to be twisted and poked and well-used and fucked with. Kind of like^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hwoah, CAREFUL

This is the best of the versions of this poem you've posted. More accessible.

I saw, I liked 10

Odd images all around and interesting use of grammar in places, but that in no matter to the daring and original, those who now must fill the cancer-ridden shoes of Stan Rice.

I saw, I liked 10

Interesting spin on the pimple poem.