Last two stanzas are good. The first two, as I believe you've doubtless realised, are shite.

Love it!

Sensual is what comes to mind....

Brave.

Kerrrazzeeeee...eee...ee..e Hey, if you want to see weird poetry, mine's weird. Also Doyetevsky, whatever his name is does strange stuff.

After reading mucho of your stuff I find this has some choice lines but it needs to woven in parts, I will have a better look and vote tomorrow but imagine britney spears tits being covered up in a woolly jumper and you got this poem, you know the beautys there but you cant quite see it. Anyway apparently ranger we belong to a brit pack? gotta go or she'll be moody

Hmm, I thought that black slavery-well, any slavery for that matter-was illegal pretty much everywhere. Ah well, this is a brave effort at something political. If you don't mind me saying, I don't think it's quite there yet. Keep trying, give it a few edits and I think you'll get there.

And that stRanger was I. Only kidding. Okay poem, it felt a tad short but that's alright, god'swife has already told me that brevity is a poet's friend. I feel it lacks something emotive-take a look and try to put a little depth in, then it'll be worth a higher mark and I'll be glad to regrade it. For now, a seven.

Amusing, but I confess myself a tad dissapointing that's it's not the spoof of the old hippy song the title leads one to expect. You know -- 'Where have all the poets gone, long time passing, Where have all the poets gone, long times ago?...'

I feel that this is trying to be both emotive and, er, casual (that's the best way I can find to describe it), for instance "sharing in my life" and "people think I'm cracking up" don't really give it any definitive air. However, it's got potential if you'll keep working at it, decide how you want it to sound and then edit it. I also felt that there are a few strained cliches here-that's no real crime, my first poem I submitted (The North Wind) was full of them, that's life. On the plus side, I thought there were a few great lines, especially the last two.

Some parts had me thinking, yet some parts had me lost. But, i'd like to read some of your other ones and get a feel for who you are, or what it is your hoping to convey...

This is something other than other it's otherthan. What most impresess me about this is the authors need to be something other than someone who writes others, but well. well? well enough to fippantly describe something that's going on in droves currently it's called the i'm a piss poor drunk with a big peeper and an inclination to things other than normal otherthans. bukowsky wrote better than this while not even writing, but talking someone else to do it for him while he lied gurgling drunk in a crevass...called 2.00$ pussy with a side of raman and kcrw. In fact it should be illegal to mention acdc, metallica, and bukowsky..in a poem that is clearl about the advantages and disadvanteges of eyeball fucking.a

you don't mind if i do a vilanelle using "you don't know how hard it is" saying that outloud...makes me feel profound like captain ahab chewing on moby's dick. Also, on a better note..your poem is the first poem i've ever seen void of poetry, also very profound..you my friend have a gift at destroying something that's as easy as breathing. NOT! READ My LIPS POETRY IS NOT EASY IT IS TAXING, OBSESSIVE, TEDIOUS, INSANE, CONSUMING, VOLATAILE. RELIGIOUS. now what your doing up there is blowing smoke up my ass while dressed as smoky the bear which i should dare say is a universal crime of the first order. i sentence you to life void of poetry. WAIT SHIT! i'm too late.

Exceptionally weak use of adjectives. You even use "warm" twice.

din't - is this a new word or a typo? The last part sounds like you could rap it. Are you one of those hard hittn' street poete's?

Great use of cliche. Great use of no punctuation and lower case words. Great use of an uninteresting and overdone topic in the same uninteresting and overdone way as everyone else that writes pimple poems. Keep up the good work!!

What am i chopped liver? i've read this before though, correct..this edit's clean. nice onee

how could i not ten this?

If i die while choking. it means me and you are comet streaking homos.

Zest is a soap that leaves very little film, like this poem.