horus8
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2003, 5:08 PM
Perhaps, buy you in&out?
don't be afraid of pattern on this, it works.
nice towel off.
GoldenQTip. 10.
It's obvious. You have terrible taste in men. I mean boys. Mean boys.
Boo hoo.
Wasabi? & avacado? i pray so.
rhetro virus. FLEE!!!!!!!!! nah, let's swap 2 gallons of spit instead.
kevin spacey in the negotiator. i saw a ? misplaced early on. is that meant..let me know, so i can vote.
Last stanza first sentence, Jesus this is what i live for. "Roughed dewed" What the fuck does it mean I can't say, but my heart is in love with it. A good draft.
Jesus Christ girl, slooow down, infact STOP, take a look. The mothers love you because you're just like them. The boys are tired of their moms, be some other thing. What the fuck do you care anyway? You carry the seed. Anyway your poem is bland and of low-intellect.
Clean, crisp..great read. super title.
powerful.
There are certain lines that teach me a great deal about writing and then there are words like'fain' which turn me off somehow. Overall I feel yu have much to bring to this or any other forum.
Often at night I hear a crying sound coming out just below my nose.
The last stanza is weak. 'Ruthless truth' on the other hand... I enjoyed reading this. I felt it.
I'd say this is another tawdry example of my whimsical commenting style.
Fantastic. Minimal. Just what I was thinking the other day, only a lacked your articulance. Thank you.
Not necessarily poor. I saw a contrast of technology to lack of heat, or priorities. A possibility?
because it comes from the heart.......
excellente.