Re: Let's Grovel For Jesus And Fight The Naughty Satan! by Sing4Jesus!	howl 81.179.102.33	14-Oct-06/2:20 PM
Jesus rocks.
Re: A Poetry Reading by Dovina	howl 81.179.102.33	14-Oct-06/2:24 PM
The same content would make a decent poem if your verbs weren't so dull.
regarding some deleted poem...	howl 81.179.102.33	14-Oct-06/2:26 PM
This doesn't make any sense.:(
regarding some deleted poem...	howl 81.179.102.33	14-Oct-06/2:43 PM
subtitle: If you are a cat and wish to be forgiven for killing birds do not cry at your mothers funeral.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	14-Oct-06/4:27 PM
Lines three and six miss the rhythm. 'in the cat I wrapped'? Is that leading on from the title - 'Conscience in the cat I wrapped...'? Otherwise there doesn't appear to be anything in the cat that you wrapped, except maybe a bird and the urgent need to relieve its bow'ls. Why only capitalise 'I'? Why not punctuate a bit more? Why am I asking all these questions?
regarding some deleted poem...	piedle 210.84.45.132	14-Oct-06/11:10 PM
it's about the uprising in Prague, in 1999.
Re: Timing by Dovina	howl 81.179.102.33	15-Oct-06/6:05 AM
This is really good. Not sure about layed. Should it be laid. I don't know.
Re: Bitter by Ranger	howl 81.179.102.33	15-Oct-06/6:09 AM
wkd.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.37.40	15-Oct-06/1:49 PM
The subtitle is funny - a lose-lose predicament. Aparently, the narrator is an ingested bird, missing his nest, though I don't know what a spud has to do with it. But then Verse 3 escapes me. Or maybe it's a boy who threw a spud at a bird nest. Confused, and sorry if I give away too much.
Re: Wry Edward's wry smile by oddgreenout	Dovina 12.72.37.27	15-Oct-06/2:05 PM
Limericks usually march along with sing-song rhythm in addition to the rhyming scheme. What is a hawlk? A few too many commas, it seems, and a meaning covered in unusual language.
Re: Tidal by helenwales	Dovina 12.72.37.27	15-Oct-06/2:12 PM
Somehow the rigid structure of haiku does not jive with stream-of-consciousness writing. Just holding 5-7-5 most of the time is not haiku. I'd make it all one stanza and let it flow.
Re: Let's Grovel For Jesus And Fight The Naughty Satan! by Sing4Jesus!	Dovina 12.72.37.27	15-Oct-06/2:20 PM
I assume that all these Jesus poems are satire on Christianity. Perhaps you see hypocrisy in the church and wish to expound your rebellion. Ironically, Jesus did the same thing. “Do not according to their works,” he said of the religious leaders, “for they say, and do not.” Matthew 23:3. Many other passages like this.
Re: Being Called Dave by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Oct-06/8:53 AM
Genius.
Re: Four and a half paragraphs of silence by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Oct-06/9:00 AM
Yours is the finest username on poemeranker. -?-
Re: Work by half.italian	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Oct-06/12:51 PM
Which film? It sounds vaguely American Beauty-esque.
Re: Do you fit in-to the dark? by Hostileintent	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Oct-06/12:53 PM
Have you ever thought of rhyme As some sort of metric crime?
Re: Crappy by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	17-Oct-06/12:00 AM
This piece of shit was inspired by Dovina's poem, "A Scientist's Prayer". So thanks, Dovinator(that's my new name for you). Jesus was a pussy. I love pussy. => I love Jesus.
Re: Crappy by drnick	Ranger 62.252.32.15	17-Oct-06/3:58 AM
Heh. Line 5 needs punctuating, and the final rhyme is too direct - all the rest are loose/half rhymes. 'Sure you could rewrite the world' makes me think this was written about a computer programmer/serial gamer.
Re: Left the key in dream den's door by capachijim	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.220.187	17-Oct-06/6:54 AM
Not impressed; clumsy wording and a limp punchline. Could have been worse. Could have been illiterate!
Re: Lady Bradbury’s Excursion by Dovina	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.220.187	17-Oct-06/6:55 AM
Doughnut, dear. "Donut" is the brand name.