wOrnella Mutiw
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 9:57 AM
My roomate in boarding school and then in college was a phenomenal writer. Her writing got even better in college because she took courses that helped her shrpen her writing skills even more. I think you need guidance to become a better writer...that's where college comes in. I don't think you would have been as good of a writer if you hadn't gone to school for such a long time.
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. 10!!!1
It's cool that he did it and she said yes. Congrats to Kaolin and his fiancee - may the marriage be a happy one. Nice poem too.
please keep the kid with the chocolate pie.
Ah yes, well may Icarus be proud of ye, for ye have opened the skies of poetry to those without wings and shown them how to soar...what am I saying?
Great poem, definately worth a 9
(What's the 'curmudgeon'?)
I just want to know one thing: does horus8 really have a Superman haircut?
mine is longer, and uses more college words.
nah nah nahnah nah!
Mine's shorter and contains no college words.
GUTTED TO THE MAX.
why does this need to be seaparated by numerals? your second stanza is fragmentary--unnclear--does not resolve the subject/object described
I think you could do without the last 3 paragraphs (esp. the last) but altogether this is a solid poem.
Rangers young for fucks sake but his work whatever you say has gotta Be respected, i couldnt write as a teen like this. I didnt understand all of this poemranker is not a hyperdermic shot of poetry some of it craves to be studied, votes can be postponed as intransit often does out of respect and i like that attitude, give the dude a break - hey ranger temporarily delete this do another version (if you can be arsed and compare the one you did for your palate and one for others) on 2nd thoughts go out tonight, seduce a woman, kick her out after, fill a pint glass full of bourbon and drink yourself in to a coma !
Is that a bad philosophy?
why did i not see this before? i need to read this after more time has elapsed. i have been hooked, and my left cheek will never be the same.
just read that your only 18, I am 29 and have written poetry since I was 14, this is quite mature for your age. Keep choosing subjects that interest you, try to avoid forcing yourself to write.
Some good advice: accept constructive criticism from the users on this site, most are cool only a few are vacuous twats, there will be some users you will hate to begin with but they are the ones you will respect as most are honest, some very crafty, some will decimate your work, some wont, sometimes the vote system will confuse you, sometimes a top poet will give you a 10 and another top poet will give you a zero, its all about taste, pathos and whether you are respected. Try and be courteous by offering critique on other peoples work. Their are some hidden diamonds on this site and one day when we're all dead we'll be rich.
Good luck, now I'm off to lose another game of football
I thought vilanelle as a holiday home in the Algarve, liked s1, s2 and the last stanzas but got lost in the middle, however I am having a very very very blonde day and my brain is in exile so dont listen to me =7=
Indeede my poeme is not a Vilanelle. I just made up the rhyme scheme and decided to call it a Vilanelle. In much the same way I used to call all my poemes Concrete because most people have no idea what the fuck Concrete is, and also because I found it amusing when people kept posting outraged comments saying "This aint concrete!"
Oh, and by the way -
This aint Vilanelle!
Is this a redux? It feels benefitted.
Settle, you trickster, you've done it again! Changed a poem so the comments relate to it in no way whatsoever! I love your thinking, man!
Actually, this made me laugh quite a bit, have a nine now stop anonymously voting zeros!
Hahaaaaaaaaaa....he is slowyly evolving into a Malaysian woman.