hey p&k, is he saying that stan rice was the marquis de sade? (i don't speak portugese)

better. the last stanza--actually, the first line of it--it's leaden. the rest of it steps so rapidly, so lightly.

Your Portuguese is piss poor. Have you actually tried learning the language?

second to last line: "let's choose" you need the apostrophe. and that's about it. how do i describe this poem? pure. willing. complete.

r u & old man river lovers? Hooked on Phonics could possibly work for you, possibly not.

nice, just skirting the edges of angsty-suicide-note stereotype without falling in =)

What's the point of a Live Journal?....precisely...like your poem.

Oh my god - You've crossed serious lines. I hope you don't really know these people...You could be thrown in prison.

Are you trying to impress us with your language skills?...I'm not impressed. Stick with Ebonics...gunna...hahaaaaaa

The only thing that saves this ditty is that it is a lyric. That is the only excuse for it. And in the perspective it is fine, but is it fine enough for Cake?

This is not a concrete......Don't waste our time and stick to pigeon watching, tractor driving and oreo eating....wait....these are Dan Garcia's activities....so maybe you can be the bathroom attendant...pass me moist towlette please...here's a quarter

You mother fucker's - what? did you create this site and produce every member on it except for me and darkangel? He I'm sure is you as well...I was catching on yesterday, but thought I would bite some more kick...mother fuckers :)

Are you on some kind of high because you are the #1 poet on poemranker and others are asking your advice...I pity them first of all...Secondly, when your writing is paying your bills, or when you are old enough to have them that is, I will talk to you again...Thank me for giving you the time of day...good evening:)

no way. they seem smooth at night. in the morning is when you brainsmack yourself and groan, jeez, what was i thinkin'? you were drinkin' not thinkin', my friend. that being said, this is sweetly done.

These are the times when I wish Prince never existed.

How come you insist on tangoing (gunna go) alone?

Rasputin. Rasputin. Rasputin...VS. Poisonandnosin

Ciao.

oh heironymus, this is lovely!

I think so - 7