sweet

cute

And I'm the lamb.

I like, but thats because I'm a Libra... :^)

For thinking wide and epic and deeply, I dub thee sir ten ly.

gave me goose bumps but i didnt really like the twist at the end, made it too sane 9

"to fix the goddamn thing so it doesn't tell the truth anymore." who ever tells the truth, he dies.

it's been too late for a long time, poor chap. admitting you have a problem is the first step, though. sante! <slurp>

hone it. excellent ideas and images, but the clustering, the clustering! it drowns the piece.

brilliant in its simplicity and directness or not but what the hell

boing. i figure you want this to go south so heres dantes score card..0. your welcome..love scheszwa, shezswa.e

Great poem! very believable, and lifelike...sounds like you've had expierience..keep writing!!!

i thought it was a great poem and the last 2 lines really explained and summed up the poem, great job!

this is nice work, i think it sumarizes how lots of people feel, keep writin, i especially liked the first stanza

I like the feel; constrained and untroubled. The last line in S1 should be revised, it lowers the score. Dileberate hair is wonderful. I have trouble getting a clear picture; I can't tell if you're waiting for the bus or riding around in it already.Can you try again? I believe this could be twice as good as it is.

i really understand it! its a great poem, it rolls well

Nice outline. Can you reduce it a bit? Find a new way to say things like "What a cruel joke..." "There is so much love..." these are the facts like my eyes or my hands; can you be more distinct? More personal?

Hey, this came up on random! Home again Home again, Jiggity-Jig.

It's nice, but it doesn't make me feel anything. You've got two typos in S9.

i'm hip to your lies is a great line.