<{Baba^Yaga}>
on Of Curves and Straight Lines by Quarton
30 Nov 2002, 4:22 PM
i read this to band on the run by mccartney...it was quite the experience...graphing to music and the drumm66g of the keyboard...clever and honest. we're so sorry uncle albert.........but there no one left at home and i..believe.
amen.
nice 7
a lovely story.
very fine.
here's nine.
when the lemming run by don't let them convince you that you don't know where you're going...okay?.
ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!dastardly delightful...hand across the water...HEADS ACROSS THE SKY...LITTLE LITTLE GYpSIE RUN AROUND..YEE HAA! typo with the orange though i think unless you meant Oh! mighty gange?
Im a sucker for mean sewers. Did you
kow they make green Chai now? (you said you needed some new friends, o Im sorry assets
its good but i really dont like the line "she used to think that love was from above" it throws the whole thing off for me. good poem tho i really like the begining 7
so you say, but have you heard a gibbon sing?
gracious, this is gorgeous.
nice, esp. "hibernating like seed"
i don't get this part:
She's got everything it takes
Except of course
(question marks).
Status.
why the line (question marks).?
also, in scene 3, maybe 'conflict has entered the cell'? for the double entendre of film/trapped?
p.s.
:]
which tubes are locked still by the storm? i feel clouds in s1 and again in s2, but i know this about the low moaning voice of the wind--so where do the roots come from in s3?
give me a clue>?
um, should you have maybe put this in a letter to dan, so that only he saw it? i wish you had done that. truly i do.
tint-this might pack more punch if you lost the passive voice, e.g., 'faces have been haunting me at night' or even, faces are haunting me at night'...
like the imagery. lots.
"And I am powerless to draw your face in sound." howzabout 'write you voice in sound', since that's what you're on about?
again, beautifully done.
if you fall in love again, imagine the words you'll write. you note loss and longing so sweetly/sadly/superbly
little tommy shookiedoo was a hell of a polo player he would score and clinch it in the third chucker. his daddy rewarded him with plastic for his date later on with susie vonschnickleheimer. they were in love.they had plastic..things were perfectly rotten..in a accurately horrifying way...yes..yes.l
ah ha! that was just what i needed.wasn't it on this weekend...did you just get done watching it? 10.
it's really easy with that gold toilet around your neck and you squeezing that hand full of zingers like it's your last.
You win.