Just like I was there, you shouls be proud of this one.

At last a limerick !

i guess i should have paid more attention to the smurfs thang.

Reminds me of that mathematican turned piano playing social commentator, Tom Lehrer, and his dastardly ditties such as "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" and "The Hunters Song", among many others.

"If not for you, the birds wouldn't sing" or some such; who wrote that song? I just luv this sort of poetry, hh. The well thought out, improvisational phrase flinging, clever variety sprinkled with words you have to go look up. Would "Let her bide" be better?

I like "The mean in between".

I DARE YOU TO HUFF SOME RUBBER CEMENT THINNER AND LISTEN TO KASHMIR AND MAKE YOUR MOM CRY

still my favorite

The last stanza is sheer brillance. The rest is sadly tainted by the grammartical fart at the end of L3 S2. Rework that and you'll have 10s up to your _____ (insert body part here) I'd say boobies but i'm not quite sure how tall you are. So I'll say pelvic mound.

"There's only one choice." would have ended this better. Otherwise puerile as ever.

If I was your friend, I would never let you go out wearing this poem. It makes you look fat, and kinda stupid. O.K., really stupid.

"For one to own the feel of being free" is worht the effort. Trudge on. You're young yet. You need an intelligent scarf to wear with those butt-huggers. Take a vow of silence. It works. No cell phone, no radio. No gum smacking trance music girls gone crazy.

Let not mine eyes gaze upon this putried assemblage. My life is a suasage link and you, you are the pancake. I'm drawn to your butter and imitation maple syrup. Guide me home again Into the security of a carbohydrate blanket. An elevated glucose level shines behind your eyes. Oh House of Lite Pancakes Close not the kitchen. I am drawn to you. I am drawn to the fork and knife.

You should make this into a song, it has real blues potential!

I think this is bloody brilliant! Especially as I had most input, didn't I blade? Why did you not recognize my worth and add my name somewhere? Inthe title would be nice. And the alternative title should be 'A long fall'. 10

I liked it but thought it was missing something, there was no build up to it. also pedistal is pedestal , check line 2 for 'and angel' surely its 'an angel', try and add another stanza.

Duff Beer for you Duff Beer for me You have a Duff I'll have one too.

I think the fish must be offended by being compared to the haircut. Who had the best mullet in history? I vote for Kevin Keegan

hehehe (10)

yes. alot of images here from some landscape torn apart. have to walk through it carefully.