it's good

It's a bad poem, but at least you don't scream about this sniper character being a coward who knows justice will catch him. You get some points for that. Some. How much do we bet it's a CIA agent doing some after-hours practice?

Not that I know a whole lot about poetry, my reccomendations are: Delete "penetration" and "ejaculation" I think less is more with this work. I also think you can say the same thing and get the same result with half the material. Just my opinion. 6

I like all three, but I'm a little confused about"fruit punch". How long does it take the sun to set in Oregon on I-5 in the summer?6

Ewww!

i know this star-less space all to well. dead is dead.

The more I read this, the more I notice the heresy inherent in it. Daring to claim God made a mistake... Daring to think that people only are taken by God if they agree to, which negates the full glory of the All-Mighty Baker of the World (who apparently left the ktichen for a moment and didn't realise he burnt the cake). By your own beliefs, God can do nothing he shouldn't do; the ways of God pass our understanding, as they say, and we must accept them all. You, girl, have the sheer GALL to question God'S might and Power, and Infinite Justice??? On your knees, girl, on your knees, and pray that ye be purged of the sickest sin of Pride, that Pride which led to Lucifer's own Fall, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I'm sure you can get your preacher to fill in the rest with a nice little sermon on the evils of pride.

how did you know i had the banana skinned gloves? nicely put.

because you're a cad?

the questoion marks have to go, followed by tghe poem. out the window with the lot of it. too goody goody, and mushy without any balance. try tiger milk and some poe.

floating somewhere above us were you?

i have read you all tonight in one sitting. this one almost by lamplight, hearing the sirens overhead. all brown, scuffed, muddy and other worldwarly in the daily death of the common man, our very own brother.

This has a voice of its own, which is something very hard to achieve.

Hmm. Doughnuts is one of those words where the American spelling really annoys me for no real reason.

maybe we'll get lucky and tonight he'll bury the blade for good. in your talent 'a glow' bum. bum. may the shaft hold tight.

i'll put this one in my hut for save keeping. the grapes are for squashing and moshing. late night tossing. 9. the witches PICK O' THE DAY, O'TAY!". now i'm of to play. the captain. someone put me down, please, this shite is breaking me.

this poeme is sooooo an magicale it an follows me an everywhere an mocks my an hoof. an so on.

move over! i'm trying to shave wench! lest i rub my noxema cheek 'pon your brow. stubbles.

change "we" to gonad, and "us" to clam-soda. that is all, carry on.

Put the rhyming dictionary away.