poetandknowit
on Two Towers by Tascobar
14 Oct 2002, 1:28 PM
But are you really waiting for a plane if you are at work in WTF? I would have liked this more if they had crashed into an airport.
post more. pretty please.i need more.
I don't get it. How does this tie in with control? Nice rhymning
yum
disappointing ending. the fore had such aplomb, and then, ssslurp--over. bah. try again h. you know better than to foist this off on me. z,
I have to agree, enjoyably gross! Absolute artsy fartsy shit! Hard to think I could learn from this,but.....
fuckin A. the game is indeed on, lassie
no. but it makes for fine lyrics. rock on, h.
take a look. new one just in called realities...continuation
sexy...like a sister's underwear drawer. provocative and mysterious - at age 12. nice work...i'll see you tonight. midnight. if you please, bring some wine and a little afterlife chemistry.
mud has no place in my mind's eye for this unrhyme; and a mississippi sky drips right for the time, ages or aeons or eras, sublime-all those vowels long, longing sing singy-sounds.... sigh. if i looked at you with long puddle eyes that poured, would you throw me down, as a god? my eyes are grey; their color they will not divulge.
wash away the mud and tell it again. the earth stains this tale of two, and more
I like the transition from sadness to happiness.Um, your still telling,not showing. Instead of using a season directly(winter), try being more specific. I.E. Compare your feeling of sorrow to a frozen lake. Compare your happiness to the smoldering coals of a fire not yet fully extinguished. You want your feeling to be worse (or better) than anyone elses, so exaggerate the feeling, this helps grab your audience. Did you knock a knuckle on the counter? Then make it sound as if you slammed your hand in a friggin CAR DOOR! See the diff? Keep going, you're gaining on it.6 I'm gonna make you work for it.
This would probably be the best poeme ever if it was just the first two lines.
If the baleful balls have to do with wailing sirens, as you say, then why would you even consider smiling? Who are you referring to when you say 'they', the snow balls? If the snowballs are your antagonist, then being one of your poem's "main characters", why did you not capitalize snowballs as you did Sorrow, Death, and Soul, etc, to give the word more personality and character? Anyway, I liked your poem overall.
Your extraordinary gift for rhyme brings me great joy. Your stories are creative, funny and intelligently written. The shit theme is bizarre, but when it's well executed it's impossible complain. I always picture the most wonderful illustration when I read your tales, a la Mr. Gorey. Do you draw?
This must be one of your thinking poems. I shall ponder your waffle.
Has this been tested for whether the size of the bite makes any difference. I mean, is greediness a factor?
How is it I am continually suckered into reading poems about what comes out of your pestilent ass? Tell me! I see you have a fan club. And I am not a tart. you are.
Mmm... Waffle!