<~>
on some deleted poem
14 Oct 2002, 7:23 PM
iambic impies an even count. so obvious...
Your monkeys all of you, now rate mine a ten all of you bums. Short and sweet this poem. PS, rosie Bailey is God
It is beautifully written ua but why is it a crow?
perfect. 10
Dark Angel, would you please piss all over my current haiku, god knows I need the help, thanks.8 For your twisted waffle.
Beautiful. Your poems are always such a refreshing contrast to the more popular morbid tones of most poets. Perhaps try to keep a steady beat going throughout the entire poem. You're a great writer!
Nice work Zinny! Perhpas your most sensual yet, in the literary sense. BUT... Kindling is the beginings, right? the small pieces that fuel the bonfire? And the beginings of sensuality are all about hints and innuendo. All this to say, don't be so obvious in using the word FIRE three times... What is it that Pops and Hisses? The fireplace? The Oak, the Maple ? The last of the Cherry from some forgotten Orchard? The Sapling pine not yet aged and hard?. Leave "Built Fire" - it works there, because you leave out the article "a" so it defines a very different thing you've created. So maybe he says "The Flame does this to us." I dunno.
Ah, -=Dark_Angel=-! You always post such wondrous, sheer, unadulterated shit. (I'm assuming you'll take this as a compliment.)
I have to hold my breath when I read this, for fear of disturbing this fragile scene. Limness, this poem swallowed me whole and held me in that singular instant. A 10, like yourself.
Of all the poems I read here last week, this one left the strongest impression. Of poetry, I am not a worthy judge. But this "reads pretty", and spoke to me all week. Thank you for the thoughts to ponder.
Stanza 2 is so perfect in it's vocalization. Lovely and sweet. Like hard candy rolled around in my mouth. I am a connoiseur of intelligent sorrow. Birds of a feather and all that. Thank you for the bittersweet treat.
This is perhaps too personal for me to appreciate. I lose myself towards the middle and continue lost til the end.
God good they will. And try on your things while you're still breathing. They surely will. Last line is confusing to me, but what isn't this day.
You right like a boy on drugs. Good for you, excellent even.
Please do not disappear. I need you here. The way a mule needs a steady and knowing kick. Love the title
Poetandknowit, why do you hoard your answers like they're bones? Please write. Real mail would be nice. You own my address, put a stamp on it.
What I want to know is 3 fold.
1.) Is the diner made unaware of the waffles nature prior to consumption, making him/her tragically ignorant of his immortally after the 1st bite and previous to the 2nd? Am I travelling from point A to point B and then again to point A without ever becoming conscience of it?
2.) Is the diner notified of the waffles power prior to ingestion, but so overcome by the overwhelming pleasure of said waffle that he/she cannot resist a 2nd bite? Is the waffle a metaphor for sex, drugs, and religion(otherwise known as rock n roll)?
3.) Is this an allegory of our masichistic nature?
Please help. I am up all night deciphering
Simple, and sweet! Three heart surgeries?! Wow! It's nice to read someone concentrating on the good in their lives.
Well done Luke!