why do we let them possess us so? why aren't they the ones begging us to come home? the irony of the begging queen. you paint it true, because you have lived it.

Needs to be more indepth, instead of simple rhyming words.

damn good.

i really do like the metaphors in this. it reads like a well-loved volume left behind on a bench...and i could not make it my own, but i will possess it for a time bfore i set it free.

the blue curtains is a nice image. when the heart has always been empty, one does not feel it as keenly as after it has been full. before love, the everyday things reside in there; perhaps the curtains will go blood red once love has come. this poem falls back on over-examined artifice. can you keep with the novelty of the first line, and run with that? weave a metaphor; i have seen so many confessions, and this one is not unique.

please do stick with this, and steer clear of politics. you are so fucking good at sense of place.

Yikes, the genius. rockin' my socks as usual.

that's just terrible. lose the "u" 's and read more. try new rhyme schemes.

quality porn poems. dirty in a wonderful way.

pure cheese. typos and a crap rhythm make for a true literary dryheave.

The virginity thing is idiotic. This is beyond sappy. This "right" and "wrong" thing is another thing you should work on. Your mother would be embarrassed.

lean to spell. F-A-T-E, for starters." Fiery" flames, you mean. This "sin" thing worries me, though, kid. it really does. Trying to call forth angels is pretty fucking dumb. (calling forth anything isn't that bright really) As a poem though, it's pretty bad.

I like the "back of a honda". Sounds like quite a time.

you are a naughty boy and you deserve to be spanked. have a 9. you'll have to get the 6 yourself.

this is pretty jaunty for the demise of your one true love. did you even think about the function of form when you composed this fun little lyric?

~* love the sparkles, babe. never change, k? *~

I like your theme - despair makes all the best poetry.

There's nothing necessarily wrong with simple rhyming words. Simplicity can be a great strength.

so. surreal. and concrete. and metal and blood and plastic and steam and vision. and haze. thorough.

that's a lot to ask.