mostly excellent.

utter crap.

I can relate..

I like version one a tad better, (i say the first is always best because its raw, and meaningful) but this one i like because you've added lines filled with description, which is good, but the atmosphere has dissolved. I especially like the last section and of that "where the blue of her eyes meets gold flowing in every direction such beuty awaits before me still all i see is the ground" very lovely

It must be strange, knwoing someone who's a victim of this weirdo. Thanks for your comment by the way - I don't know why 'Instructions to a Sculptor' has taken off in the way it has, but it makes me happy!

Hi, I like the fact that this has some rhyme and rhythm, not that that is essential, but it oftens adds well. However there are a number of places where simple adjustments could make improvements. for example. The choices made on night before The choices made the night before substituting the for on here makes the whole thing more grammatical and flows just as well, thus it is easier on the mind.

Good, I liked this, though I would take heed of the good advice already given.

I like this a lot, but is 'constrewed' a word? Do you mean construed, or constrained? If you've made it up, that's ok, though - Shakespeare did it all the time, so you're in good company.

Very nice indeed. I like the use of curled, and then curdled.

This is very brave, but perhaps it's all too close to write about.

Wow! That's big and clever.

I like the deliberate archaicism; it's good to write in a way that's unusual.

Sorry someone you knew is dead. That said, I'm afraid I agree with Dark Angel. This isn't that great a piece of writing. It's pretty cliched and really, what do you know of his motivation? The piece lacks fire if that was what you were going for and also sadness if that was your goal. I came in with an open mind for this one, but I was disappointed.

Now this, i like this. great imagery.

But of course. With chanting and robes and stuff. I don't know what's wrong with these people, even re-reading this makes me happy.

Absolutely brilliant. true. kicking ass, as always.

Wow!! I didn't know the best way to express vague righteous anger was to write adolescent poetry and amateur psychoanalysis! "A well brimming with self-pity". Are you sure you wrote that? I could've sworn my 14-year-old sister won some sort of poetry contest for that the other day. More to the point, how is it you have such expert knowledge of the sniper's motivation? You seem to forget that not everyone in the world is such a beautiful tortured soul as you. Let me get this straight: a) the sniper think's he's safe, b) the sniper knows he isn't safe, c) killing people from a distance is cowardly (as opposed to gutting them on a street corner, which is extraordinarily brave)? Well strike me down if you don't win the Pseudo-Insightful BS Award 2002! Congrats!! 10!!! P.S. I hate to tell you this, but justice is what allegedly happens to people *after* they're found.

I meant dead poets, sorry about the typo.

This is entitled first words, yet it seems like the end of something.

I agree. Way to counter bourgeois expectations!