Rex Karrs
on one is leaving as i enter by Limness
8 Oct 2002, 10:58 AM
Another "Five out of Six" poem?
You're a nut. An insightful articulate nut.
I like. I like a lot.
Because you're attracted to them. Admit it. You like it.
The poem is dull and doesn't have much to say, but spends too long saying it.3! Katie, no one gives a shit that you're blond. Look at meee, i'm a redhead! Also katie, is English not your first language? If it is, you have no excuse for that gushy diarrhea of a comment you wrote.
perhaps tapatia & lava with a bit of menstration juice 'pon the slapped bum-face of mr. jones's angel. how about them pants. nice poem richa. as always. you sure like snakes and hillocks. and ghosts and brimstone and toes..696.??
Dark Angel,I will one day build several churches in your honor.
Lovely. For once I like images, message AND form. 'The phoenix does rise' irked me for a moment (it seems so cliched for you to use), but you save it with the next line.
Not bad, not bad at all. Since you hate typos, I'll permit myself two notes: hesitations not nesitiations, and hers not her's.
Not my favourite of yours. It's not that it's necessarily bad, it's just that for some reason I wouldn't put it in a personal book of favourites. As for the use of 'menstruating' (seeing as it seems to be the big issue -- or at least one of them), it does seem to be a tad out of place, but you get used to it. Not that it can't be used in a poem, I just didn't feel it quite fit this one. But what the devil, we'll assume you know what you're doing (when there's no shaggable male in the vicinity).
hephaestus obviously is the the crab whisper from your crotch...more smoke and mirror tom foolery..you might be able to trick these easilly swooned demigods, but your going to hafta dig a little deeper for us mantel sturgeons. we have four legs but herman hesse borrowed our third leg last yesterday. didn't he. early like the worm bird..
This is exactly the kind of poem I hate. By the way, Mars is never merciful. Enless you mean a quick an merciful death. I can't tell what you mean. There's too much sauce on this bird.
Hi! I'm Katie! I'm not vain or anything, but I do feel it's important to point out that I am blonde every five minutes or so. I am blonde.
Innovation not imitation is a good motto to live by once you leave college behind and tromp out into the real world. There is none of that here in this painful read of a poem. There was only on Browning and he is long dead. Are you Blake? This poem is as bad as any of his.
You know this is a poignant scene and you have a couple of lines that work , torn like lightening is good. and S2 is enjoyable intil the last line. Too much like a journal entry too little like a poem.
Brandon, another great poem! I like the feel of this one, I like the point of the whole thing. This poem was really interesting to me. Keep up the good work brandon!! And good luck at work!!
Brandon, yes I am going through all your poems and commenting on them, hehe. But this one...like other's are so sad, and I know little about you, and want to know more, but what I do know about you, is that a little part of you is in each of your poems, and most of them are so sad, cheer up, things will get worse before they get better, but they will get better. Me and you have a lot in commin. Now on about this poem, Like always you have a differnet way of looking at things then most, and I like this, I'm reall tired of reading these poems that are all from the same point, about the same things...some things just get way over done, I will admit I have wrote one of those poems =( but I did change it so =) But I do like this poem, I would love to see if flow more...well maybe not flow but more...like BAM!!! If you know what I'm talking about...Ive never really been to good with words, for I am blonde, and this explains this. I'm stuck in my raiting...wither an 8 or a 9...I'm leaning more 9ish...10/9 =)
the fox and the hound....did this subject more justice. my forehead furrows mr. spiteri.6.
Cliche. Try not to make yourself look like such a boob. It bores people.