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on America by little_angel_maria
7 Oct 2002, 7:37 AM
you should talk to doug soderstrom. he'd tell you why.
i'm having a time making it feel like poetry in my mind, but i find the idea most entertaining.
I think if you start with"There at the bottom is a lonely place"it would seem as if you're speaking from there.(So the force of personality shall work better in that way).good!I like personally-felt poems.(I had something very much like this esp the end of it!i.e.I understand!)6/8
i love it when you get rough, unity.
Unexpectedly Nice, the tongue though seems well...
you tickle your feet with your hand and you toussle your tongue with a tongue.
And many others who don't grace the silver screen, as well. Of course it's the public who puts them on that pedestal, should we never use them???
...haven't you posted new poetry?
Qute the statement(s) here. Take this piece to another level, I think. Massage it just a little.
YES! RUN! LET YOUR EMOTIONS BE FREE! FULL THROTTLED FUN ! NO OTHER WAY!
at least you had the balls to tell her.
what a great line "a touch like an explosion" extemely powerful. cool stuff limonade! muahahahahaha
ever so true dude...ever so true. i agree with the song angle...throw it together with some sort of jesus-based rant full of screaming and self hatred
got blasted eh? yeah it happens to the best of us. no worries. when everything looks to be going sour listen to some deftones and break some shit
alright i don't mean to sound like an ass or anything but when i read the first and second stanza i got a creepy vision of a 15year old wanting to get with a 7 year old...and then i saw your name...and felt like poop...still a good poem though 8/10
Still at war with the sleep monster I see. If you've got a little writers block, relax, inspiration will find you. In the meantime,hope all is well on the other side of my screen,and you're having sucess with your pets. Thanks for backing PR the way you do:)
i like the line about "the artist's discretion". this is gonna sound stupid but after reading comments on this site and seeing how bitchy people can be about other people's work...well truer words have never been said dude. i'm out...please disregard my foolishness
that's good. are the corners real or metaphorical...cuz if they're real theniwould agree with the lover; it would not be love...but if metaphorical...it makes for a good poem. i'm out 8/10
good god what a long conversation...exellent poem though. i do not agree with the vast majority here though. i think the word menstruating goes well with the poem...gives the poem a very poignant feeling. 10/10
Don't know where the quote came from,but it fits. Beautiful.