god'swife
on Faucet's got a nasty drip. FUCK! Not again! by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Sep 2002, 7:58 PM
Not up to your high standards.
A leaf crossed his path and was carried on the wind,
would sound better as
A leaf crossed his path, carried on the wind
Not bad not bad. More space-age living. I'd would have liked a metaphor or two, but that's just me. I wait for them the way a child waits or candy.
funny i dont know if it has any real significance? is it an allusion to gambling?
Depends, and much fresher sushi! No more cathedrals. Only the sewn girls from now on! Soup wasn't as good coming back up!
this is god's wifes son (god's son) gods and gods wife's little devil chid
Genius! Frightfully Genius!
skaskowski
on Eleemosynary for the undeserving but forward foreigner by ErgoErgun
15 Sep 2002, 10:01 PM
an interesting delve into our collective roots... primitive yet sophisticated, like toast that is really really old but still tasty.
Funny stuff, but really in the morning and only seven tugs. Sheesh, are you like the king of premature ejaculation?
This poem makes me wonder if you have ever been to Vegas or just watched what it is like to be there on some travel channel. If you have been there, well, then your observations are just weak. So is this poem.
maybe lose the, "or did we"? or bend the title to fit a little less crypticly? it's almost emotionaly unavailable...sorta self serving and perhaps a bit unique, but only to you...because it serves no purpose to the reader other than confusion...even if it makes all the sense in the world to you. to another its a bit neither here nor there.
People are angered by the expression of violent acts, they are fools who don't understand the spirit of art.
puppy chow. help your puppy live a healthier life. then take him for long walks in china town.
poetandknowit
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by some deleted user
15 Sep 2002, 7:44 PM
When your robe slips open and you tell him to beat it. That was a great Freudian slip. What did you really want Balth? Hmmm. But really, quite nice in places. I personally would remove the goddamn. It has more of an effect without it. I don't know I am also not a fan of dialogue in poems, but that is just me. And didn't you find a mate who let you loaf at the typewriter all day. It is important work! Half of being a good writer is finding a significant other with a fantastic job!!!!
Like, oh my God Becky, this poem is like totally a foot long. Like wow, talk about meter. Congrats on finding yet another way to mock the poor art form.
I really never thought in my life I would read so many poems about birds. You make merry old England sound so boring!!
who said anything about standards, i'm fucking serious....you cats are voting on the dissinegration of my cock. poor fella's doing the tom hanks in the green mile....and you guys are talking about standards? may ezra pound pound your pound cakes. villians.
I'm so confused. You dream he dreams; a party; dunes. I feel like I am stoned and reading GG Marquez. Are you pissed because he is not using his powers how they should be, because he is afraid? And really who cares if a dream within a dream within a dream, because eventually he will wake up in your dream and you will wake from your dream and the world will be happy again.
Yawn!
You are on a roll of goof poetry tonight. Keep it up! I laughed all the way through!