pete
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by some deleted user
13 Sep 2002, 3:14 PM
ditto ... kinda funny .. 4
stunning first 2 stanzas ... then got lost ...... 5
don't sound so kind to me .... pity you're so crushed , but there are worse things .... 3
Paints a picture, but treads that fine line between poetry and prose. Then again who's to say.7.
I like this part best:
It is here in the lonely meadows of nowhere
that fierce winter winds thrust off Lake Erie
and push deep into her blood.
It is here I listen to the distant
howl of a father calling his girl home
this is doing for me the work of a poem, of this poem. A wordsmith you are; this piece is noticeable as emanate from someone who has developed certain skills of sound, angle and recursion;
but I would prefer if the "statement" delivered by all this image amenagement, this riffling of consciousness in recollection, were something else than a whine of victimhood.....
I'm ashamed of you, beakism. Not only are you a shameless thief, you are also an heinous misquoter! Good day.
muddled , but then that's life ... is that the word which explains itself ? ... 4
(sings) ..and the home of the...brave.! Another American outpouring, why do you lot feel so guilty? First stanza hopelessly cliched "a mother cries over a lost son" etc. Find something to be proud of and try to stop whining.2.
thanks ..
rich like the aleph ...
dougsoderstrom, do you love me?
It doesn't take long to realise there are only a handful of people posting anything rewarding here. You are on my list. Is there very slight assonance between "seawall" and "summer storm"? Very subtle. "Tide,rides,sky" I'm a sucker for rhyme. "Furious with my own leaking" jars slightly, would appreciate explanation of this line.9.
.. like the footprints ( new to me ) ... makes it a concrete poem ? ... w==h==e==e==l==s perhaps ... 4
Is that a "Christ on a bike" reference? Amusing.7.
childish ... but can't really blame you for that can we
.... oh , bugger ......thought you were growing up there for a minute ... 3
aah , a real poem ... such a relief ... at the end is the questioning form and use of 'elusive ' tautological .... i like the bird ... self contained vs the twosome .... breathing exercises captures it too .... 8
the universe does not care about you .... work for your own 'salvation' .... 3
Pleasant enough. Couple of typos.7.