What is Everquest anywy?

oh my! I can almost feel the sheets stuck to my drenched thighs! yes!

The language seems a little too pretty for Putney; but that doesn't take away too much.

i'm not a hater. i just thought you might like to get it right, since you went to the trouble of creating a very vivid image.

This is muddled then straightforward and then muddled - the lack of punctuation or 'meaningful line breaks' (to quote DarkAngel) makes the sense very hard to follow. What does history have to do with love? You haven't really shown me.

Next time you're in Britain, you can get the real thing. And I tell you, it makes things weird. And friend of mine broke his leg in two places falling over a blade of grass having drunk absinthe, while it made me almost burn down a bar in Prague. Freaky, aniseedy, makes your eyes beady.

morning, mrs.g. a coupla things: did you mean to repeat 'some magic'? the 'though once as a child he killed a friend' part feels disjointed; what about 'but' instead of 'though', since the magic was too strong for him at that age? and i'm not sure that 'annoyingly' is the right word to convey his sense of frustration with his magic. you can drop the second 'only', in the standing watching part...how about 'he lets only his fingers sing' instead? better rhythm? 'bled' instead of 'bleed'; maybe he dreamt everything was in smoldering ruins, like that childhood village? a few ideas....like the concept. z

I think "Bringing forth a sigh" in the last haiku would be prettier than "It brings..." These are sweet (in a good way).

but doesn't the calculating make the time go slower? your obsession with her is palpable. 'when i murmur only 5 days, i know it will seem like ten, and that you will leave...again' (sorry, i can't seem to get past the rhyme in my suggestion, but i do think this could tighten up appreciably.) keep at it. hope these helped. z

Old man with paper bag feeding pigeons. Did you make that up yourself?!?!?!?!?!?1?!/!?!/!11 also, I don't understand how "wakes him" follows from "st marks bells toll the matins". Is there supposed to be some sort of punctuation there?

I would like this poeme more if you didn't capitalise all the words at the beginning of a line. It makes it seem 10 times more portentous than it actually is. Also, the second verse is unpleasant to read.

This is great. if I were the moon I'd feel like this - ignored, unwanted, for ever in the sun's shadow. And so bored with the dark. Oh yes indeedy.

Atmospheric, but it goes nowhere. And who is Dave Matthews? I don't think we have this person in Britain

This addresses the same sort of ideas as my 'Surfer' poem (I've taken it off the site), but is much much better. Magic realism, it rocks.

The rythmn is right. And the words are true. Excellent. My only complaint is the last line. I already knew what you were emplying at 'Only 5 days' Is their a better way to end this?

Everyone makes fun of me for loving you, but here is a perfect example of why. You are enamoured with sound of words. It always there. This poem needs a little more polish but the sounds and their rythmns are well established. That can't be taught. You either got it or you don't. All the consonants are dancing. The vowels are singing the tune. And that makes me happy.

You switch from plural to singular in the last stansza. you also don't need to include the parenthetical comment at the end. and why say 'life sucks'?

Your poem shows how well you can mimic. It is a good poem, it is a funny, but not necessarily accurate satire. I just don't get why you are so bitter towards god'swife. Jealous, maybe?

Good job Vote on mine Beowulf poem

sheesh.