Thy poeme is not overweight but overdone and underweight sirrah-get thee hence

nice non-haiku.

This poem was awful, til the end. Then it became very funny. Thanks for pulling me in.

Contempteraneous

maybe its all the acid in forever encraved on the memorial to abstinence that now stands on my spine, but not only did i get to the end of this own personal illiad, but i didn't even pay the usual attention to the overwhelming length...usually i get up and make a sandwich halfway through...either way, i shall finish off with a very much child-like "i likey the stuff, mommy"

i've never seen anyone miss a point so badly as did Tarquin De La Bog and have no clue that they're missing it. it's a little embarrassing. i agree that the poem is smug as shit, but it works like a charm. although, you're proving the old point that it's easier to destroy than create.

how is this still in the bottom 15?

it's cute. If Lysander is someone I'm expected to know, I don't get it. If Lysander is you, my personal opinion is to keep personal names out of things. I can't really empathise with it when I'm being jolted out like that. Also, the scan/rhythm/flow/whatnot could use a little work; maybe just fixing the grammar or making a proper nod to it would do it.

Were you drunk when you wrote this dear ?-I remember you getting out of bed and comng back smelling of the drink-I had no idea you did stuff like this !

I'm confused. Oh, I see -- I was reading "two of four children, including me as one" to mean you were one of the two... which made the rest of the poem very skewed. The actual rhythm of the poem I find overly halting, stopstarting, and repetitive -- it drones. I'm left mildly curious as to what's happened to or with them.

Seems a little confused and confusing-have another go and see if you can understand it first !

Your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth......nay a scare crow

Well fuck me, it's another 20-page drug-addled discharge from the master of meaningless crypticism. Great one! I'm sure all your fans will come all over it! I used to actually try to understand what the hell you were talking about. But there is far too much random bullcrap to bother trying to glean the nuggets of wisdom you seem to think you have. I bet if you shortened your public therapy sessions by about 70% a lot more people would be willing to actually read them and take them seriously. And so sayeth -=Plumpkin=-.

Maybe its not quite a butterfly yet, still coming out of the chrysalis !-anyway the poet seems to be indicating that the premature death of any creature is a cause for sorrow, a buddhist credo of which even tarquin should be aware-I agree with him 8/10

You and me girl, we gave it a twirl. Pole is like spaghetti now, nope there it goes again. What can I say lets play

Any poem using the word tears should be tossed in the rubbish can.

Fuck yes! Good writing.

Unllllucky.

I feel that the "#3" really adds a true taste of the writer's life. Excellent work.

This poeme is dandy.