Well displayed and interesting. I like the line, " Last night I woke up crying/ Becuase all my dreams were shattered. Personal aura also.

Saucy to the extreme degree... Da1 with satisfeid eyes

I grade hard, but your poem is very worthy of comment... Damn-it

Cathes me off guard, but leaves my illuminated

P&K you were quite right - a couple of little changes have clarified the narrative without, I think, messing up the rhythms too much. Thanks.

This is very sombre - you get the tone exactly right. The last stanza is perfect.

There's a lot of religious imagery coming up in your work at the moment - it works really well here, the eros/agape dichotomy is so central to our culture I think.

I quite like the idea of this, but your archaic language leads you into trouble. There never has been such a word as 'thoueth' - you want 'thou' here, although 'you' would be even better - and 'please don't leave none stone unturned' is a double negative - either 'don't leave a stone' or 'leave no stone' (certainly not 'none'). But your structure works well as you run through all the possibilities. Just cut out the medieval language, it's not necessary.

Have you been reading Ted Hughes? It doesn't matter either way, the image of crows as fascistic uber-Darwinist nightmares is spot on.

0/10. first off, anyone who doesn't know to put a freeform poem in the freeform category, doesn't deserve a very high score. that took you down to a 5. then, out of sheer spite for your rude comments to me, you've been knocked down to a 2. and then, to be honest, it just flat out sucks, a 1 was more than fair. but i really don't care for the number 1, because 0 is so much nicer to look at. so enjoy!

Thank you for your comments. As far as the plural form of mute goes; I have 2 hands they are both mutes as in a person who cannot speak "a mute" the noun not the adjective. Therefore my hands(left and right) are mutes together.

i wish to appologise to you. having just read the nasty little note i left, i suddenly feel about 3 inches tall. i skimmed over a few other comments, and something stuck out to me. christof mentioned how your comments and your poetry don't exactly parellell each other, and i did not take that into full account when i vented. again, i am honestly sorry for saying your poem sucks, it doesn't, i just don't understand the idea of looking back on childhood, due to the fact that i have only recently come through it myself. i also am sorry for my low vote, and i would like to state for the record that my personal honest opinion of this would be a 7/10. i don't fully understand it's context, and i feel that for that reason you have not 100% succeeded at relaying your message to all potential readers. so, enjoy!

Thank you thank you and thank you. Baba I took your advice and took the last stanza straight out. Much better. As far as adding another line to explain the last, I don't feel it's a good idea. The last line is the girls promise of salvation. It ends there, in the telling. She has not saved herself just yet. When you are victimized at a young age that part of you gets stuck there. I couldn't talk about it for 25 yrs. Not with the police, my father, mother, sisters, friends, teachers, not with anyone. I had to wait for my father to die before I felt it was safe to tell. She hasn't found her strength or the safety to tell. This is where her story ends. Telling is the beginning of another story.

Apology accepted. I must have done something to piss you off so don't worry about. You have restored yourself to above your previous height.

this is by far one of the greatest works i've read on here yet. unfortunately, having just read a suggestion you made about how people who don't write 'as well as others', should not be allowed to post as often or as much work as those who do, by which i presume you meant yourself, can post their works. i am both amazed and ashamed. i thouroughly enjoy your writing, and yet despise your idea and the pride behind it. it doesn't take a silver tongue and 8 years practice to come up with a good poem. it takes a simple cooperation between the brain and the heart. and my friend, even the slowest of 6 year-olds can accomplish that. i will judge your work fairly, but if given the i would not judge you the same. 8/10

i would recommend reading this to all i know. absolutely beautiful. very well versed as well. i appreciate works that people write in memory of family. your mother would be, and i'm sure she is, very proud of you. 10

p.s. please vote again I lost all previous votes in editing.

This has timeless qualities. It's hard to write this kind of natur4e reverie these days and you've pulled it off.

I agree with you

vERY INNOVATIVE YET PERCULAR.