if this is about life it should be much funnier

huh. This is an odd little ditty indeed. The last line confuses me. Tell me what you are saying because the haiku does not.

it's best to elude about the river, not come straight out and give us it's name, and the then will be rid of you makes 0 sense. 01/10

Best story I've read in a long time. Great composition. It's complicated but there's no meandering. I think this would make a great kid's book. I know my 11 year old would piss his pants laughing and squealing with joy. I respect your ability to create great humor. Funny. 10/10

as long as it's not with your bad taco meat, beef-boy.

Very good, let's see some more. 7/10

I really do like the language, but at the same time feel it makes an enemy of the form. I especially like the ending, but I'm not quite loving it as a whole. 6/10

this takes a quantum leap into to the realm of saccharinity. 'Oh life bizarre'?... Oh poem bizarre! Keep it real for the peeps. Settle down a little and speak to us as if you were telling yourself something important about yourself. Good luck

that's why i wrote the ultimat creep for you...do you cut gordian knots with your left sword hand or write...cuz i sir leap nude and eract arieling end o'er end sun tanned rippled muscles flex...then i give a quick pull at the base of me pereneum activating my kung~foo flickle prickle to truly severe the rope right..write? or pull pud prawne before ye gets bent tow'ds the enevitable scrotismal equinox, rest assured good sir...you will be blinding by the whitening nudity betwix'd me arse cheicks. fold.or.anny.annie?

Your hyper-poeticising is ok here because it's to an inanimate object, which makes it humouress.

Quit that cursed job and live again! Grow some balls and stop compromising, damn ye! Love the last bit. 7/10

It's 5 then 7 then 5.

It's 5 then 7 then 5.

Better. but not for me.

improved but still needs a little more salt, or maybe some garlic. Why is your starfish broken, exactly?

Don't tell them Venus! If they don't get that delightful allusion already, they don't deserve to understand.

This should clear things up: starfish is a cute little nickname for my... no, you're right DA, they should know what we know. But god-woman-wife, didn't I explain this to you already today?

There is no way out, you are right we're all bound towards death. But that's something a 5 year old discovers. Make this work, focus on some specific experience or moment which made you feel this, and write about the experience, not the philosophy

da. i'm leaving a vote and comment on this tarts fertile land for you referring to your latest epic sir choadk and such here it is, for some reason i couldn't leave it at the story, and it gobbled up my first brilliant comment, but i gave it a 10/10..it was delicious i wrote a brilliant comment for this da but the site red lined it..fuck...this is a work of staggering genius...i laughed for a fucking hour..sheer mastery..stupid enbrowned prawn operated (should keel haul a prawn for nudity in the next one) redlined computer errors any way you win the HORUS8 SHORT STORY OF ERROT FLYNNISM and chamber music madness...i had more fun reading this than anything in two months...you sir are dastardly and without limits! 10/10!s

hey, i'm nice!! well thanx :D but ok, the comma thing.. ya, it's, a, major, prob, of, mine, i, think, i, shud've, taken, english, maybe, i, just, pause, 2, much!!