A skater dude and skater gurl writing are such sweet little poems to each other. And to think you hide behind the armor of face piercings and green hair. It's Emo poetry.

Send this off to Disney.

Sniper happens to be the hottest play station two fad in Japan next to bleaching one's hair and Brad Pitting the pinata.

Let' all hale Dale. Whiplash is cool and has been known to pack one's stool.

Another dead poet. This sucks dead poet.

The ever so rare original thought 7/10

Unforgivable! I hate when he does that. 5/10

I met her on the monday morn/she made me watch her mother's porn/She wishes that we'll always spoon/To fascist yodeling and the blue of noon.

A traditionalist poet, and at sixteen: how fucking cute! It is great you read the old dead farts, as they are most important. But these paltry imitations should be left to ones diary.

you sound like one naughty, rebellious high school girl. ever take ballet?

and for a $30 fee, you can copyright anything.

It is as full of potential as any I've seen. tighten the language (like cutting out superfluous words such as "just"--a poem never needs the word "just", and you've got a sure winner here. very fresh.

what IS this about? probably nothing, but zoinks!

it needs more at the end--perhaps repetition of the first line and then something...not sure what.

I agree the poem from the start creates an intimate atmosphere which helps to introduce the theme. But the poetics of the poem has not been carried through. The first simile, snow as shreds of paper, is common and is not suitable. Then there is four times repitition within this short poem of [souls sink, souls falling, snow is souls falling, souls falling]. Is it reasonable to compare souls [immortal] to transient snow?

I see what you mean, I may have to try it again with your advice. Thanks!

Indeed it is not reasonable! I would go so far as to say it was unreasonable! How dare you! I do like the poetics of this poeme though! Great work!

several... But alas the Foul Constipat-Or has unleashed his tentacles upon my brave buttocks! What!? Will this turd ne'er be ripe? The shame! Forgive me Lord Jesu! Forgive me!

A well written sentiment 7/10

there is no checkmate in monopoly you simpering inbred gentleman, opps i mean wing-ed shadow.