Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.135	13-Jan-05/8:35 PM
this is by far the best poem i have read in avery long time .........i love it ............is is so beautiful.............:)
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	13-Jan-05/8:37 AM
By gad sir, Fetch me my commode, For my bow'ls are full to brimming, I fear I must unload.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.14.17	13-Jan-05/5:28 AM
Why did you capitalise "Corn", "Angels", "Singing", "Wrapped", "Cherubs", "To", and "In"? Is it because you can use these words to make a shorter, much better poem?
Re: Stopping at the oak (draft) by Caducus	zodiac 212.118.14.17	13-Jan-05/5:39 AM
1) Don't capitalise "Oak". 2) Don't put a period after it either. 3) Then don't capitalise "Laid". 4) Correctly punctuate "Nature's". 5) On second thought, don't say that at all; and don't rhyme "tomb" and "womb". 6) That reminds me: Don't rhyme "fire" and "pyre". 7) Punctuate after Frost. 8) Don't punctuate after pressed. 9) What's up with all the periods in that stanza anyway? And couldn't you have made at least one of those a full clause? 10) "You haunt me in the omen of banshees" doesn't make any sense. You'll try to explain it now. Don't. It still doesn't. That's your limit. Do you want more?
Re: Nectar of Infinity by MacFrantic	richa 81.178.241.233	13-Jan-05/6:18 AM
The last verse seems a bit tacked on. The rest is very nice to read but you do know that people don't write like that anymore.
Re: Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina	richa 81.178.241.233	13-Jan-05/6:37 AM
It is correct that players of the old 'games of ball' can be a tad coarse but to suggest gentlemen use the kind of immigrant slang employed in this poem I will not believe.
Re: Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina	richa 81.178.241.233	13-Jan-05/6:38 AM
This is overpunctuated. It sounds less the team talk of a games master and more the team talk of an RSI inflicted Stephen Hawking.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	13-Jan-05/12:48 PM
I get it -"leafed open" fairly verbose compared to your usual fare - something different?
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 147.154.235.53	13-Jan-05/12:49 PM
Thanks.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.14.48	13-Jan-05/2:24 PM
If you are reading this You have discovered That your choice To put these words Before the masses Has wrought a smiling ear. These words look back within me.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.14.48	13-Jan-05/2:31 PM
A gardener to boot, are you? Magnolia leaves and book leaves works well. But why the huge tree and not the humble tomato or squash?
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.14.48	13-Jan-05/2:38 PM
You said recently that you're leaning away from punctuation in favor of humble line ends. My god, sir, has it worked out that badly? Can we have no middle ground? I have to imagine this in your usual style to appreciate its delicacy, which is there, but all splattered like a car driving by La Conchita, California.
Re: Can't Fight No More by jroday	Dovina 12.72.14.48	13-Jan-05/2:48 PM
I can't say it any better than: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=118322 If you're reading these words, you know you are appreciated by at least one, and I'll bet a year's longevity the Mrs. jroday would say the same.
regarding some deleted poem...	Crakyamuni 131.252.229.170	14-Jan-05/4:39 PM
like a bullet kills bird, is good, in a primitive tone. How about continuing with like a bullet kills man like a bullet kills spirit. I think dropping the a will give the piece a more unified feeling. I really think that this work has emotional value. Keep it up. Stay up.
Re: I love by Leigha Browning	RION12 64.136.26.226	14-Jan-05/8:19 PM
I really think love is great even if I don't know the real reason for it. You make it sound a lot more better then it already is. I have had a lot of bad things happen when I was with somone and when I read this poem it helped me think about all the good things that happened. I looked on the bright side for once.
regarding some deleted poem...	RION12 64.136.26.226	14-Jan-05/8:32 PM
I like this poem because what it talks about is how I feel about someone. To tell you the truth I feel that way about alot of people not just one. I also like it because I love the way you wrote it. Your a cool writer. I rate you a 8.
Re: You tell me by RION12	nentwined 64.81.38.95	14-Jan-05/9:28 PM
Though anything can be endlessly argued to death, spelling things properly really helps in my world. Beyond that--the strange rhyme you have going on grates a bit on my ears, and the rhythm is very odd (perhaps Dovina would use the word 'chunky'). There's a lot that goes on in a poem, some of it intentional, some of it "just the way it is", and that all has to be weighed. You might try exploring the senses a bit more than you have them here--help us feel your cry, your fear, show us what is haunting you, whisper the love so we can feel its timbre. What colors, sights, sounds, smells are there? These are just my thoughts, of course.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 64.81.38.95	14-Jan-05/9:29 PM
You know, I actually really like this, and I haven't a fucking clue why.
Re: Recognition by nentwined	RION12 64.136.26.226	14-Jan-05/9:31 PM
I liked this poem so much I made it one of my favorites.
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 64.81.38.95	14-Jan-05/11:38 PM
I hate you. :)