| Re: Poemranker I Couldn't stay Away by Tara57 |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:00 AM |
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True story: This retard boy in our neighborhood followed my wife home from work last week and, right as she got to the house, abruptly tried to fist her through the seat of her pants. Naturally, we called our jaha, which called their jaha, and everybody had to go out to the police office the next day for a nice little sitdown together. Inappropriate attempted fisting is, by the way, a high crime here. The sick part is that even in the police station, confronted with something like 15 years in prison and the ruination of his, his family's, and all descendants of his family's reputation into eternity, he SERIOUSLY couldn't stop himself from staring kind of blankly and freakishly at my wife. His father, too. The police started to knock them around a little, you know, scare them some, and they were crying and apologizing and STILL staring at her. That's kind of weird, huh?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:03 AM |
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Hey! Congratulations on reposting without making any real edits!!!! Even your "typos"!
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| Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:05 AM |
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The middle verse is overstated and a little poetick. The rest is pretty good.
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| Re: Neil Simon is Living in My Lunula by MacFrantic |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:07 AM |
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This poem exactly reminds me that there's a turd (now vomit covered) which has been living in my Turkish toilet the last month and a half. It floats and has a few recognizable features. Kind of like Neil Simon.
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| Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:08 AM |
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Still the best poem ever.
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| Re: Fair Dianne by Dovina |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:12 AM |
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Should be categorized "Barely Veiled Rant about Getting Your Poems Trashed on Poemranker". I'll be writing nentwined to have such a category created and all backlogged poems in this vein belatedly entered in it. You can be our queen.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
tadpole 67.21.31.89 |
5-Nov-04/9:36 PM |
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| Re: A Better God by Dovina |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
5-Nov-04/11:38 PM |
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If you were a god, which of the following would you be?
a) Just like yourself now, only with invisibility and creating-matter-from-nothing superpowers;
b) Have invisibility and matter-creating powers, plus a +50 Cloak of Perfection (ie, also perfect);
c) It's all the same thing, since if you were God whatever you thought or did would have to be by definition perfect - kind of like the reality (but not the idea) of Papal infallibility probably is.
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| Re: Fair Dianne by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.252 |
5-Nov-04/11:54 PM |
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I heard someone say this once tonight already but I think it bears repeating. "It seems a tad short. Any chance you might stretch it a bit?"
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| Re: tomorrow is another day by hendrimike |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:19 AM |
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If you don't own a blacklight and at least one blacklight poster, I will eat my shmaagh.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 212.118.11.11 |
6-Nov-04/5:24 AM |
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I liked it before the edit. This is me being serious.
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| Re: Intersection by INTRANSIT |
edpeterson 68.79.60.123 |
6-Nov-04/6:05 AM |
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I always love birds in poetry. The madness they suggest, the wings, the beaks, the smears they leave on your pole.
bullshit aside, I really loved the last stanza, brake the stare is a bit cutesy, but doesn't really detract, for me anyway...and i think grinding line could be clearer or simpler or something but am without suggestions.
i don't like atop in the first. why not just on.
in the second, probes my poll....probes is a suggests something more intrusive than what is actuall going on, though that is not really a problem if that is what you mean...the bird is intruding, perhaps? Keep your pole to yourself.
the third is nice with the repetition, but "friend" seems... i don't know. if it were my poem, i would let the reader decide for him or herself whether the bird was friend, foe or other.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Nov-04/6:45 AM |
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Please do not corrupt the wonderful depiction you've created here by using the pedestrian "that" in the last line for the more elegant "who."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Nov-04/6:55 AM |
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I hope also to rise someday to this level of verbosity and pomposity. For now I'll just admire the similis and graceful inferences to works of the masters contained in your homespun, but wonderfully insiteful work.
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| Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Nov-04/6:58 AM |
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"As the persecuted Me, so they will persecute you."
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| Re: Geometry for Dyslexics by zodiac |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Nov-04/7:00 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
6-Nov-04/7:05 AM |
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| Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday |
edpeterson 68.79.60.123 |
6-Nov-04/8:55 AM |
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blessed are the poor...period. that is the original ....you have Blessed are the poor in spirit,which is what the church changed it to so as not to put off, or otherwise disturb, the people filling up the collection basket.
Save it for church...
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| Re: One Day I Will be Made of Electric Swords that Will Explode by T. Jonathron Remp |
edpeterson 68.79.60.123 |
6-Nov-04/9:02 AM |
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| Re: Sappy Ending by Enkidu |
edpeterson 68.79.60.123 |
6-Nov-04/9:06 AM |
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why would he have to rape her, when she was presumably throwing herself at him? i think "sodomized" the princess would be better
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