Re: Center Of The Universe by Dovina	Sasha 69.138.236.63	21-Jun-04/8:47 AM
Too much telling, not enough showing.
Re: Windfall by wilco	Dovina 24.52.157.176	21-Jun-04/8:57 AM
The poem says something about romanse and sex and regret that strikes home. I'd never get that from the above comments, but like it anyway.
Re: Center Of The Universe by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.39	21-Jun-04/7:53 AM
I fill with wonder.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.157.176	21-Jun-04/8:15 AM
Very funny, Dan, but not today.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.39	21-Jun-04/8:18 AM
Yes to all of the above and, probably, to all of the below.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.39	21-Jun-04/8:26 AM
Great but the last ten lines reworked could make it stronger. Was it a necklace or a chain, I wonder.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 69.138.236.63	21-Jun-04/8:44 AM
you've got a very good sense of sprung rhythm in poetry. This, however, does not excuse trying to rhyme left and wept, and heartbeat is accented on the first, not the last syllable. You yourself say it in the poem: "These awkward rhymes drone on and on" Yes. Yes they really do. To top it off you've got the poem's subject matter which, though very poetic, has been overdone to the point of nausea. "All I want is to be your mate" This means either a) you two are a pair of rabbits, wolves or dogs who cant wait to get it on, b) you are two australians drinking beer at a pub or 3) you are doing a very bad job of forcing a rhyme. My guess is 3) Sorry to be so damning, but for one of the few times on pranker I feel the odd and somewhat out of place desire to critique this poem seriously. So now you have it You do get a 6 for effort. -Cheers-
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 24.222.81.233	21-Jun-04/9:10 AM
He's out gay hustlin'.
Re: Exist For You by WithoutLife	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.135	21-Jun-04/9:40 AM
Have you been guffed on by a spaztronic guff manual?
Re: Quiet, Kind Hills by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.135	21-Jun-04/9:46 AM
An excellent poeme! No... wait that's daft... a GOOD poeme. But I'll have to end this comment with a caveat, because 'caveat' is rather a trendy word at the mo, and being trendy is one of the most excellent things a person can be (caveat: there is no fucking caveat) -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 67.119.239.39	21-Jun-04/10:39 AM
You are precious...and simply amazing!
regarding some deleted poem...	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	21-Jun-04/1:15 AM
Excellent beginning, strong middle, somewhat sudden ending. Maybe one more line...? *9.5*
Re: Exist For You by WithoutLife	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	21-Jun-04/1:17 AM
not my genre exactly, but well done. *8*
Re: "She Phoned This Morning" by ARTIE	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	21-Jun-04/1:19 AM
Sounds too much like only the decent beginning of a more substantial poem. I appreciate the use of language. *7*
regarding some deleted poem...	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	21-Jun-04/1:23 AM
You continue to amaze and never cease to impress. Fantastic broken lines. Particularly fond of lines 2 and 3. Outstanding! *10.5*
Re: Deluge by EAger to Offend	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	21-Jun-04/1:24 AM
Good, if voted *8*
regarding some deleted poem...	francis nor capule 210.23.227.51	21-Jun-04/4:13 AM
sigh...
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.157.176	21-Jun-04/4:55 AM
Charming and thoughtful in the beginning - funny in a thoughtful way. Toward the end it tastes a little sour, which of course it is, but maybe alittle more subtle would be more impressive. Like it!
Re: an ode to love by francis nor capule	Dovina 24.52.157.176	21-Jun-04/5:01 AM
One of the best definitions of love I've seen. I really like, "for if logic or reason won over love, would it be the same?" Bravo! "you thought him" -> you taught him
Re: Where Else to Start But the End by cleverdevice	Dovina 24.52.157.176	21-Jun-04/5:08 AM
Sadly true, some good insight. I'd call it free verse and look for ways to shorten it and cull the cliche, "Hell would freeze over."