| Re: sweet kissing me there by misslexy |
edpeterson 68.79.21.41 |
11-Jun-04/5:59 AM |
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overdone. cut half of it.
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| Re: Of Painting by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
edpeterson 68.79.21.41 |
11-Jun-04/6:02 AM |
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umm..think same as god lady. but i also think the poems should end on the word shit. I like the poem though...it is defiant and kinda funny.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.21.41 |
11-Jun-04/6:07 AM |
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I prefer Quize to trate, because of the alliteration and because it implies desire. i like that line as a "trying" line...makes the last line like a nice surprise or a bonus boner.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.21.41 |
11-Jun-04/6:09 AM |
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la ultima vez
que quize sexo, (or que quize hacer amor.)
me la respondio, (or like you have it)
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| Re: a person by francis nor capule |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.160 |
11-Jun-04/8:19 AM |
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I give it a -9- as a new age ballad. Less if forced to rank it as a love poem. I can hear Josh Groban singing these lines in duet with Celene Dion (Yanni on the piano & Kitaro on percussion).
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
god'swife 4.232.69.35 |
11-Jun-04/8:20 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.160 |
11-Jun-04/8:27 AM |
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Why does the microphone spurt, drip and splatter? A SHORT circuit, perhaps?
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| Re: Even manic dreamers must face Atropos by SupremeDreamer |
god'swife 4.232.69.35 |
11-Jun-04/8:33 AM |
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'When one knows the truth it's easy to lie' Nice. You should work on this, it could be great.
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| Re: The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco |
god'swife 4.232.69.35 |
11-Jun-04/8:38 AM |
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'...seems to me.' is simply awful.
'I'M standing on the shoreline...' I don't mean to dismiss her I think is very insightful, could be read many ways.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
god'swife 4.232.69.35 |
11-Jun-04/8:40 AM |
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How sad. New Age Jesus says, 'Don't spill your seed on the internet, man'
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
god'swife 4.232.69.35 |
11-Jun-04/8:46 AM |
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Get some therapy. Oh, and a poetry workshop would help you loads.
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| Re: The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:08 PM |
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i think my whole life is one big villanelle
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:10 PM |
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| Re: Kentucky Fried State Of Mind by pain killer |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:04 PM |
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i love the title and everything about this cuz its just honest and to the point yet its long and uhh i dunno i just like it for some reason
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| Re: Of Painting by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:13 PM |
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i almost lit my house on fire trying to give the burn affect to this letter i wrote...anyway it was for an english project, meant to be part of this scrapbook..my dad was so pissed and now he doesnt let me play with fire...
good news is a got a 100% on the project YEHAWWW
i love painting nuns
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| Re: The daisy-chain girl by richa |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:16 PM |
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there used to be apricot trees and a kickass orchard by my house and i'd go and pick them and cherry plums every summer...now its all gone..all thats left is an ugly dried up field.
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| Re: sweet kissing me there by misslexy |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:20 PM |
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makeout sessions gone too far. HAHAHAHA luv it.
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| Re: Even manic dreamers must face Atropos by SupremeDreamer |
New Life Drug 69.106.238.155 |
10-Jun-04/11:21 PM |
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and i must face the mirror
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| Re: At First sight by Nirvana13666 |
Furin 213.134.234.167 |
11-Jun-04/4:41 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.21.41 |
11-Jun-04/5:57 AM |
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i like the twist at the end, but the handling throughout feels a little clumsy and unfinished.
farther should be further. get to that punch line faster.
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